Today, October 10th, is World Mental Health Day.
It’s a day that we recognize that for some of us, doing every-day life isn’t easy at all. It’s a day that we remember that there is a swath of illnesses that are invisible, but also very real. It’s a day that we recognize that there are people fighting battles all around us.
Battles that we can’t easily see. Battles that we can’t easily aid in. Battles that we wouldn’t always expect, but are happening all the same.
In a lot of ways, I am proud of our generation in regards to mental health. We are in an era now where it is safe to say that we aren’t okay. Where we can admit when things are hard and we don’t know why. Where it’s okay to say words like “anxiety”, “depression”, “therapy”, and “psychiatry” without automatic jokes about having our heads shrunk and laying on couches and Sigmund Freud. People are willing to talk about how hard it can be to deal with these illnesses and disorders that we’re still learning so much about.
But as a woman who desires to follow Christ, I still sometimes find myself disappointed in how society as a whole handles the topic of mental illness. There’s been a line drawn in the sand between the Church and the cultural world as pertains to these types of things. Culture tells us that it’s okay to not be okay, that there’s help for us, and that we need to love ourselves as we are. Meanwhile, the Church acts afraid of these struggles, tries to paint them over with some misapplied verses, and sweep them under the rug as if God isn’t big enough to handle these hard and scary things. And then those of us who are fighting through some sort of struggle are left knowing that just loving ourselves isn’t really the right answer, but that our struggles take more than just a quick prayer to relieve. We long to find Jesus, the real, in the flesh, Son of God Who walked here on earth and knew every temptation and struggle we could ever experience while here in this life. And we know that if He withstood the tempting of the devil and the separation from His Father so that we could know Him, then He must be able to be near to us in the midst of these hard, weary, frightening days.
I’m thankful that more women are speaking out. That more women are being brave and saying, “This has nothing to do with lack of faith.” That they are encouraging, uplifting, and edifying women who are pushing through the trenches and saying, “Me, too. But God is big enough to walk with you in this. And He is certainly not afraid of it.”
I invite you, if you are reading this as someone who has never walked the road of mental illness, to evaluate your beliefs on mental health. Think about the way that those beliefs are affecting people around you and the way that you respond when there is a need. Be candid with yourself, and be willing to be wrong. I know I had to admit that I was wrong.
And to those of you who have walked the road, here are my words for you:
To the mom who just had a baby, and is absolutely terrified of anything and everything horrible happening…
To the mom who expected to have a sold-out, heart-stopping kind of love for her child, but instead feels numb…
To the mom who spends hours a day cleaning and sanitizing her home because she’s afraid of the germs that could harm her kids…
To the mom who is too afraid of the outside world to leave her home…
To the mom who finds herself weeping at just about anything, and knows that it isn’t just “baby blues”…
To the mom who tried to reach out to someone, but was dismissed or rejected, and feels completely alone…
To the mom who cannot sleep at night because her mind refuses to cease its assault on her…
To the mom who can’t get herself out of bed in the morning…
To the mom whose deep sadness has manifested aches, pains, and sickness in her body…
To the mom who works so hard to silence the voices in her head that tell her awful, scary lies and try to convince her to do awful, scary things…
To the mom who longs to seek help, but is so afraid that people will believe that she isn’t a faithful enough Christian…
To the mom whose panic attacks leave her feeling like she’s having a heart attack, or the mom whose leave her sick and incapacitated…
To the mom who has to let her babies be cared for by others for a while so that she can get help…
To every mom who just aches to be known, and loved, in the midst of her need…
You are loved. You are cherished. You are known. Don’t shut down, and don’t shut people out. Keep seeking and keep pushing because out there is someone who knows, who understands, and can point you in the right direction. And pray, not because it’s the fix-all or the “right thing to do”, but because God is so big and mighty and He longs to wrap His big and mighty arms around you in the midst of your struggle. He may not lead you right out of it, but He will certainly walk with you in it.
On this day, the day where we remember these invisible illnesses and hard battles being fought, let’s stand together as moms and make this commitment: that we will listen to each other, that we will fight for each other, and that we will pray for each other. Whether we understand or not.
Much love to you mommas, on this day. Wear purple proudly, and know that you are not alone.
Signed, a momma who knows.
