I am sitting here in the dark with only the light of a flickering candle. The power is out again. There is no TV, no internet, and no phone.
A lot has happened in the last few days and I have purposely kept myself too busy to process it all. And, now I long for the screens of my tech devices to turn my brain to mush. I want to pin craft ideas until my eyes cross. I want to read Facebook posts and check out the latest Instagram pictures. I want to watch an entire season of something on Roku until I’m too exhausted to think. But, all of these options have disappeared and I am left with only a sleeping household and a little candle for company. I can feel my anxiety level rise.
A beloved family member passed away early Friday morning. He died “too soon”. We weren’t ready to let him go. His joy was contagious and his love surrounded everyone he met. Our hearts are aching and the pain is deep. I don’t want to face it right now. I want to bury my head in the flashing images on the TV or computer screen until they take away the ache (temporarily).
On the very same day Frank passed away, there was a shooting at yet another of our nation’s schools. This time it hit close to home. So many troubled kids, so many self-centered acts of violence. So many families dealing with a pain seemingly unbearable. I don’t want to think about it. I want to numb my mind with images of people I don’t know who dance across my screens with their crazy antics.
Also on the same day, two deputies were shot and killed in cold blood with no apparent motive in Sacramento. My sweet niece and her boyfriend are Sacramento police officers. I really don’t want to think about it.
God, it seems, has other ideas for me tonight. “Think about it,” he seems to be saying, “And, remember that I am here.” “Face the pain and know that I will be by your side, and when the pain threatens to consume you, let me carry you for a while.” In other words, He is saying: “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
It is pretty easy in this technological world to turn ON a device and turn OFF our minds. So, it took a power outage for God to get me to slow down long enough to absorb the reminder that He is here.
Although I am sitting in the dark, I am bathed in the light and I can see again. I take a deep breath, blow out my little candle, and let the peace and comfort wash over me. Finally, I am still, and I remember that He is God.
