Our family didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up, but what we lacked in financial affluence, we made up for in family traditions. The best memories from my childhood are from our annual traditions of going to the pumpkin farm, the Christmas tree farm, and the day my mom and I spent Christmas shopping in downtown Seattle.
It’s been a joy to continue these traditions with my own girls. As my oldest daughter is now old enough to remember holidays from previous years, I can see the anticipation build when she knows a holiday is coming up and she remembers what fun family traditions we have awaiting us.
Last Halloween we were out trick-or-treating in our neighborhood (a tradition that I didn’t do as a child, but have loved doing with my girls) when a car stopped next to us and let us know that there was a Harvest Festival at a church a few blocks away and they were giving away more candy than we could ever imagine. According to them, it was the real deal. They encouraged us to leave our trick-or-treating and head straight to the church where we could collect “way more” candy than we were getting by going door-to-door. They sped away as quickly as they came, leaving us alone on the quiet street on that dark and damp October evening.
I knew the church they were talking about. It’s the church that I’ve been attending for nearly 15 years. They have a great gig and it’s an amazing option for families who want to attend a Harvest Festival, but it wasn’t the thing for us. We tried going a few years in a row, but my girls were overwhelmed by the crowd and the loud noise. For us, doing something simpler was exactly what my girls needed. And you know what? We had more candy than my girls could have ever imagined. They didn’t feel like they missed out. They knew they had the real deal. They love trick-or-treating and I love watching them walk up to our neighbors’ houses and knock on their doors and wait with eager expectancy.
_________________
The words from the family in the car stuck with me long after that night. As they drove away, I was saddened for them that this holiday had become about how much candy they could get in one night, rather than enjoying the time they were spending together.
I’ve seen fall bucket lists of pumpkin farms and who can visit the most in one season. I’ve seen holiday bucket lists, too, of activities for multiple nights a week throughout the entire holiday season.
Our society tells us we have to do it all, see it all, and experience it all. The one with the most things checked off the bucket list is the one who has succeeded. The American Dream used to be how much can I get and it’s become how much can I do. We’ve told ourselves it’s more fulfilling.
But maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just as empty as the original American Dream.
I’ve come to realize that joy can be found in simplicity and in fully enjoying a few things, rather than filling our lives with so much that we don’t have the capacity to fully enjoy any of it.
It’s not found in an all-out crazy party, not a hundred activities, or even 10 throughout the season, and not an attitude of how much can we do. And maybe it’s not about keeping the kids busy, going to every pumpkin farm in a 30 mile radius, or getting as much candy as possible from the biggest Harvest Party we could find.
Maybe joy is found in once-a-year traditions, in the few things that we look forward to, in knocking on neighbors’ doors and greeting them with glowing smiles. Maybe it’s just one trip to the pumpkin farm and the simplicity of spending an October evening with our family knocking on the doors of familiar faces — maybe that’s enough.
Joy can be found in the simple things. No one can have it all. No one can do it all. But we can all find joy in a little bit. And when it’s the small things, the simple things that we look forward to, there’s so much more joy to be found.
I’m Hannah — a Seattle native and a mom to three spirited daughters. I love a good oat milk latte from Caffe Ladro, learning to skateboard with my 6-year-old, and exploring new parks with my best friend and partner, Matt. I’ve walked through hard seasons of divorce, single-parenting, and mental illness (in my kids and myself), but in the last couple years I’ve been redefining what it means for me to be a mom in my 30’s and how to find joy right here. (Hello, skateboard lessons and adult art class!) I didn’t expect much of anything about my life as it is now, but I’m learning to savor each moment. There is so much joy to be found here.
