One of my chronically ill friends was recently asked a question by her doctor, “How many useable hours do you have in a day?” The doctor went on to say that an average, healthy person has ten to fourteen useable hours every day.
Ten to fourteen hours! That reminder hit all of us in the autoimmune community really hard, because we’re lucky to get any hours at all and the few hours we do get aren’t very high quality. So, all of our living has to be crammed into a very short time. Should we clean? Cook a healthy meal? Nurture our relationships? Study the Bible? We’d better make up our minds quickly because those usable hours run out fast and we don’t get any more.
And, no matter what we choose to do with our time, it always feels like we’ve made the wrong choice because some area of our lives inevitably gets ignored.
Does this sound familiar?
Because, as I mourned the loss of the 10-14 hours normal people get, it hit me that all moms suffer from the very same problem!
Sure, you can have the best intentions and maybe even keep a written list of all you want to get done, but then life happens. Or, more likely, kids happen. For example:
Plan: “I’m going to cook a nutritious breakfast.”
Reality: I’m going to change a particularly nasty diaper, break up a fight, find lost shoes, and then throw some cereal on the table.”
A healthy mom may start the day with 10-14 hours in the bank, but those hours are quickly eaten away by constant interruptions, sibling rivalry, nurturing, discipline, chauffeuring and countless mini-disasters.
Recently, I went to my son-in-law’s softball tournament. As I sat in the bleachers, the weather was perfect and I loved watching the games and being a part of the crowd. And, then the familiar feelings of illness hit me. As my daughter drove me home, I tried to hold in my tears as I said, “You know, I really resent this. I was having such a nice time and I wanted to stay for all the games.” My sweet daughter quietly said, “Mom, I wanted to sit and watch the games instead of chase a toddler all night.”
She reminded me that we all have things that cut into our useable hours. Maybe it’s illness or maybe it’s motherhood. But, life rarely goes according to plan.
To sum up, I could say: “Use the Hours You Have Wisely” or “Make Every Minute Count”. But, I’m not going to. We put enough stress on ourselves already. We know our time is limited and we already feel enough guilt about the things we didn’t get done.
Instead, I’m going to say: “Give Yourself a Break”.
Because, no matter how many hours you’re given, you can’t do it all. And, that’s okay.
Read more of Ann’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
