Read more of Ann’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
As January moves along at its rapid pace, I ponder the upcoming year. I’m not off to a stellar start as my Christmas decorations are still up and unwritten holiday cards still litter my dining room table. But, I have been thinking a lot about resolutions in the last few weeks. Should I bother to make any? What things do I want to change in the upcoming year? Who started the whole resolution thing and why does it cause us such angst?
As I was doing all this thinking, it occurred to me that that the basic root word of resolution must be “resolute”.
Resolute: admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering. Single-minded.
Okay, that does not describe me. At all.
I took a personality test years ago and my result was unequivocally: random-abstract. That’s been a family joke ever since because it describes me perfectly. I ramble through life, leaping from one thing to the next in an unstructured way.
So, what’s the opposite of resolute? The internet said: “half-hearted”. Hey, there are many days I wish I was half-hearted! Try no-heart instead. I can’t seem to muster up the determination to do the things I really want to do, much less the things I think I should do.
I really want to read and study the word more. I want to cook healthy meals and eat out less. I want to declutter my home and spend time in my art journal. But, somehow my random-abstract mind gets sidetracked and I bounce from one thing to another without getting a whole lot accomplished.
That’s the problem with RA people, we can’t even follow through on our deepest desires. So, resolutions are nothing but a source of frustration and guilt.
I am going to try and be a bit more forgiving when I start to do one task and end up leaping to another and another until I’ve created a huge mess and gotten very little accomplished.
But, I guess that’s sort of a resolution in itself, isn’t it? And, I’m back in trouble again.
I did realize one thing during all the thinking I have done lately. I may be scattered and unorganized in life, but I am resolute in my love for God and the people he has placed in my life. So, in reality I have kept the most important resolution of all.
And, that is success enough for me.
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