Our three oldest kids are 12, 13, and 15 years old. They are witty and sarcastic and kind and helpful. My husband and I honestly really love hanging out with them. It’s a bit problematic though, because our kids are pretty sure we are the lamest lame-o’s to ever walk the planet. To be fair, I think most all tweens and teens feel this way. To be even fairer, I’m pretty sure my husband and I felt the same way about our parents when we were our kids’ age.
Six months ago, our ace in the hole “spend quality time together as a family” activity was to go to the movies. Sure we sat in the dark not talking to one another for two hours, but we would also usually grab some dinner and force some conversation. Since that isn’t an option right now (thank you, global pandemic), we’ve had to rethink our options.
We tried puzzles but that was just frustrating. We tried movie nights at home but they really don’t have the same allure as movies in a theater. I found myself folding laundry and emptying the dishwasher during the show. A few weeks ago I stumbled upon our stash of board games. We haven’t played them in years. We knew the kids would balk but my husband and I were desperate for a way to connect. We brainstormed: could we make it into a tournament? Could we make a trophy for the winner? Could we bribe them??
Bribing our kids to play games with us seemed like a fantastic and also disgusting idea. I knew it would motivate them but it felt a little too desperate to me. But what if we didn’t tell them we were bribing them? What if we put a different spin on it? What if instead of a BRIBE we called it a PRIZE??
And there it was. The perfect way to get our kids to play games with us.
We called them all into the kitchen and offered $5 to the winner. Jenga was the game of choice. Since we have 6 people in our family, we had to play 5 rounds to declare a champion. We chose to not release anyone until we had reached the end….at the risk of anyone getting bored and intentionally losing just to get to go back to their room and play PlayStation or scroll through Instagram or play with Legos. One round went on for a long time so in all we got to spend about 30 minutes together. During that time, there was some smack talk, some pouting, some joking, and a lot of quality bonding.
The losers were disappointed, the winner gloated, and we all really enjoyed getting to spend time together. I think we will add “creatively bribe our kids to hang out with us” to the monthly budget from now on.
Read more of Abbie Mabary’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
