A Day in the Life of a Working Mom Trying to Support Remote Learners

I have been asked a lot lately by empty nesters or friends who don’t have kids; “What is it like to work full time when your elementary aged kids have to be learning from home?”

In one word? Stressful.

In more words? Each day is different. Planning is nearly impossible, yet also essential so it’s a constant struggle trying to set up the days knowing so many things are up in the air. Will there be technology issues? Will there be some sort of breakdown when one of my kids feels confused or frustrated? Will I feel flustered trying to maintain composure at work while also supporting my kids school needs? While the answer to most everything is yes, the unknown is when or what the exact issue will be. I know that each day will bring some sort of stressor but with the variety of ways this comes, it’s not like something you can add to a daily agenda. Instead, we remind ourselves we are doing our best and stay braced for each day ahead.

I know that each age/grade brings its own set of challenges with remote learning. For elementary aged kids, I think the biggest challenge is that they are naturally going to need in person help sometimes. I even notice a huge difference with my second grader and fourth grader. By fourth grade, he is pretty easily able to navigate through and even troubleshoots some technical issues. However, for my second grader, it’s an entirely different story. I am grateful for my husband so that there are two of us to help with her school needs while balancing our jobs. We don’t expect a seven year old to navigate totally independently or be able to troubleshoot. We have been incredibly impressed with her desire to figure things out on her own but we also need to be there for before too much frustration kicks in daily.

While no day is typical, here is a run-down of a day with two full-time working parents and two elementary aged kids all trying to work and school from home.

5:30am Parents Wake Up. No, not because we love mornings. Though, I am sort of a morning person after decades of having to rise early. We wake up early so we can start our work day before the school day and all the associated distractions begin.

7am-ish Second grader typically wakes up. Whichever one of us isn’t actively talking on a meeting makes breakfast. Luckily at 7, she can then brush her teeth and get dressed for the day without assistance (though yes, it takes about 27 reminders to do so). She is supposed to clean up her room and make her bed, but most days she probably gets away without since she knows mom and dad are busy on calls.

8:15am-ish Fourth grader typically wakes up. At this point, my husband and I are in full swing with meetings. One of us will typically throw some cereal his way. He cleans up his room, makes his bed and usually just has enough time to be ready before school starts. None of this is without constant reminders.

8:45am Reminder to be ready to learn. One of us will mute ourselves on a call and shout out for the kids to head down to their “classroom”. This is typically when they act as though they had no idea they had to brush their teeth, they can’t find socks or any other ridiculous excuse that I am sure you have all become accustomed to as well.

9am School starts. This means one of us is available as IT Support particularly for the 7 year old in case she has trouble logging into her first Zoom of the day. But so far, my kids start each day really excited to see their teacher and classmates. Probably a benefit of the elementary kids versus middle school or high school where I hear they don’t even want to turn their cameras on.

9:20 First break. I won’t go through each break, because there are a lot. But here is what they all pretty much look like; mom is on a call and a kid comes charging through the office door because they cannot retain that grown-ups don’t also get a break every 20 minutes. I am sure you can relate to being in the middle of talking on a call only to have the kid train roll in. You give them that “you better be quiet right now or else” look while trying to just continue on as the professional that you are.

9:30-11am Kids have a mix of Zoom meetings and breaks. Parents available for IT support. On most days, the teachers do a great job of keeping the kids engaged during live lessons. Except Wednesdays when it’s basically all asynchronous (independent) work. The teachers do have office hours on Wednesdays but naturally, questions come filtering over to mom and dad. We are trying to get better at having the kids utilize those office hours so the teacher can be the one helping versus us trying to do so while muted on a work call.

11-1 Lunch and Recess. Yes, each day the kids get two hours to torment parents. They are also given some asynchronous work (independent work) which basically means this entire window of time is on the parents to manage. Here is where I have to balance employee, mom and teacher. Despite us trying to be proactive with things like making their lunches the night before, this two hour window is pretty painful while trying to manage a full time job.

1-3:30pm Kids have another round of Zoom meetings, breaks and asynchronous work. Same as 9:30-11 but on days there are tears, it’s usually about this time frame. Usually from the kids but sometimes from mom too.

3:30 Sign off. End of day class zoom where the teachers do an awesome job telling the kids how awesome they did, motivating them for the next day and being overall encouraging. Again, probably a benefit of the elementary age but my kids almost always log off in a positive mood.

3:30-4:30 Kids clean up their classroom so it’s ready for the following day, clean up their rooms if needed and leave mom and dad alone for this hour. Or, that is what they are supposed to do in that hour. Instead, the classroom stays messy, other areas of the house get messy, they fight and continually ask when mom and dad are done for the day with work.

4:30pm-ish Family walk. This is certainly not every day. But most days, we try to do a family walk or have the kids do a few neighborhood laps on their bikes. They are pretty cooped up during the day with the exception of jumping on the trampoline during recess time so we try to get them active.

5pm-ish School check in. The entire day is trying to just get through each hour so we take some time in the evening to ensure all work has been turned in, go through questions the kids have and do our best to close it all on a positive note.

Evening. We make dinner; sometimes we order in. We all clean the house which includes that classroom finally being picked up and ready for the next day. I refuse to wake up with remnants of the day before which means things like all dishes done too. My husband makes lunches for the following day, kids shower and get screen time of some sort. For my son, that is playing Xbox with his friends (virtually).

Since I cannot really plan for each day ahead and what challenges might come, I have found it helpful to ensure the work and classroom set up are at least ready. The days we don’t re-set our work stations cause for more morning stress.

Though it is honestly chaotic many days and I don’t even bother figuring out a plan anymore, it does seem as the weeks roll on that we are settling better into it. My kids are improving each day with really engaging with their classmates and teachers in a virtual world, they are slowing understanding that mom and dad cannot be interrupted every 12 seconds and are finding ways to get support during asynchronous class time by doing things like sending a note to the teacher. I think in some ways, it’s providing them skills they would never have been developing at this age otherwise.

The days where I have to be in the office then set an entirely other flurry of issues which may be for another day. But for now, it’s all about taking it one day at a time and just doing our best.