One December night in 2018 I got a phone call I will never forget. We, along with my parents, had spent the evening at my child’s chorus concert. As the choir sang the closing song, Hallelujah Chorus, I was lifted into such a high I practically floated out of the auditorium. But after the concert, my Mom called to tell me that instead of floating to the car, my father fell. Hard. She had gotten him home and in bed, but he was in pain. We agreed to take him to the ER the next morning.
I lay in bed with three thoughts running through my head. My 85-year-old Dad had probably broken his hip. He might not survive the surgery, much less the recovery. And Christmas was not going to be the same.
The next day brought the anticipated diagnosis of a broken hip and an ensuing surgery. We would spend the remainder of December in the hospital and then rehab helping Dad recover. These were hard days. Already struggling with dementia, my father was hurting and confused, and I felt helpless to fix his pain. I needed a plan to prevent myself from falling into anxiety and despair . . . and a plan to save Christmas.
I reached out to friends for help and received these pieces of advice.
Make sure to tend your own soul. Every evening when I came home, I would spend time reading the Psalms and praying. I began to take breaks during the day for walks. I carved out time with my husband and children to rest and recharge.
Look for the good. After my father made some progress in rehab, we began to go on excursions around the center. I would roll his wheelchair to the elaborate Christmas display where Dad and I would wonder at each intricate detail. These trips lifted our spirits so much, we began to seek out more moments of joy. We attended Christmas caroling in the activity room and signed up for visits from the therapy dog. These little moments of delight began to add up and changed our mood from mourning to joy.
Keep your eyes open to God in your midst. Amidst the hardship, there were some deeply holy moments. Through Dad’s fog of dementia, he was aware I was there to care for him. Helping him shave became a sacred activity. We openly expressed how much we cherished each other. Being together, truly present to each other, in our brokenness opened the door to a greater love. Beyond the love of my earthly father, I felt so keenly the love of God. The awareness of Emmanuel, God with us, was felt in my bones. Even though I was walking through a challenging time, I knew God’s grace surrounded me. It turns out I did not need a plan to save Christmas after all, for Christmas came to save me.
I do not know the specific challenges this December will bring for you. But I do know that God will be with you through all of them. If we keep tending our souls and looking for the good all around us, God can work through our physical and mental brokenness to bring us closer to each other and closer to Christ. Many things may change this year, but God’s saving love and grace will always remain.
Dena Hobbs is a campus minister to college students in middle Georgia. She is the co-author of the well-received new release When Anxiety Strikes: Help and Hope for Managing Your Storm and the author of the advent devotional Lighten the Darkness. She lives in the heart of Georgia with her husband and writing partner, Jason, and their two teenage children.
