We The (Tired, Grumpy) People

I am the worst version of myself when I am tired. I’m certainly not delightful when I’m hungry and can be pretty irritating when I am stressed out, but Tired Me is the absolute worst. Tired Me loses all sense of reason and logic. Tired Me assumes the worst, in people and life and the world. Tired Me just can’t. She can’t see the bright side or the sunny side or the other side. She can’t joke or laugh or be silly.

I have a theory that as a nation, we went into the 2020 election season a really tired people. We had been living out a reality that we would have found far-fetched if we had we read it in a book. Our “normal” was anything but and we were weary in our bones. Our cumulative exhaustion displayed itself much like I do when I am tired. We were not our best selves.

When I am tired, I don’t hide it well. My kids know it and my husband knows it. But because they love me, when they know I am tired, my family usually gives me grace. They will cut me a wide path and pick up the slack and forgive me when I behave like an ogre. And I do the same for them. But there are times when we are all tired and grumpy at once and there is very little grace or picking up someone else’s slack. There’s just a family full of hateful ogres who need to get some dang rest.

In 2020, we sort of became a nation of ogres. We lost our collective sense of reason. Logic went out the window. We assumed the worst, in people and in life and in the world. We were unable to see the bright side and couldn’t envision the sunny side and the other side seemed just as bleak as our current side. We lost all ability to joke and laugh and be silly. Grace was difficult to find.

If only we could get a do-over. If we could redact the yucky parts and forget the ugliness, but that isn’t how it works. Just like I can’t make my family forget when I have a raging mom fit, we aren’t able to erase our bad attitudes from history. But we can try to do better next time.

Spoiler: we’re going to have another election in just a few years. It’ll creep up on us and be here before we know it. So, let’s spend this time preparing ourselves. Let’s take a break from social media. Let’s spend time in prayer and reading the bible. Let’s get our feet firmly planted on a solid foundation before we enter back into the quicksand of an election season.

Do you know what helps me the most when I am tired and grouchy? Recognizing that I am tired and that is why I am grouchy. You see, in the middle of those tired, grouchy moments I am convinced that my children are awful and that my husband is awful and that I AM AWFUL. And then I realize: I am just very tired. The “exhaustion epiphany” is a relief because I am able to see that it is temporary, that it has a cure, and that it will probably all seem better when I am rested. I am taking solace in that hope right now: that we aren’t really a nation of awful ogres, we are just an exhausted nation. And that the madness of 2020 wasn’t who we really are, it was just Tired Us. And that we can be better.