I visited my three-year-old grandson this week. He was having a tough time behaving one night and his daddy said, “Be nice, Buddy.” His reply made me laugh. He folded his little arms, frowned and said, “I don’t want to be nice!”
I laughed because I recognized myself in his comment. Sometimes I just don’t want to be nice.
Especially now, in this time of illness and political upheaval. The world feels out of control and I feel out of control too. And, like any naughty child, I just don’t feel like being nice.
I don’t think I’m alone in that feeling because I see a lot of lashing out lately. Social media has become a hotbed of nastiness. Store clerks have told me that customers are getting ruder and ruder. And, road rage has become somewhat of the norm.
As world events are changing and there is more and more separation between us, I see so many people throw any pretense of being nice out the window. It’s painful to watch politeness go away, isn’t it? This world is hard enough without having to deal with ugly actions from others. And, I can’t really climb on my soapbox and preach because I recognize the tendency in myself to “be bratty” as well.
Sure, we all know that the golden rule (Matthew 7:12) was put in place for everyone’s benefit, but carrying it out during stressful times is hard. I have to remind myself to “be nice” every single day (and often fall short of the mark).
Here are some tips I use to remind myself. Maybe they’ll help you too.
- When faced with rudeness in a public situation I ask myself how much pain that person must have lived through to become so angry and rude. It helps me to look upon them with some grace.
- On social media I ask myself whether my comments will serve to plant a kind seed of thought or whether I’m simply throwing gas on a fire. It takes a lot of strength to stay quiet, but sometimes that’s the best thing I can do.
- I try to lighten a crabby-faced person’s day with a smile and a kind word. I get a relieved smile back 80% of the time.
- If I’m really struggling, I take myself off “to the desert” to rest. I turn off social media, I refuse to watch or read the news, and I stay away from any potential powder kegs. The rest is blissful and recharges me.
- Finally, I treat myself. This truly is a hard time we’re living through and we deserve a little grace (even if we have to give it to ourselves). So, light that candle, eat that chocolate and put your feet up for a second. You’ll be more apt to spread kindness after you give it to yourself.
We need to “be nice” now more than ever. This world and the people on it need a break and we can’t wait for someone else to start the trend. I know I will continue to fail at living by the golden rule. But, I will hold it up as my ideal and try again tomorrow.
Read more of Ann’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
