After Years of Avoiding It, I Finally Let My Daughter Have a Sleepover

Sleepovers.

This is a topic I was wary to write about because it really is such a personal decision. There is not a wrong or right way to approach it and it comes down to what is best for you and your family. Somehow I have escaped having to come face to face with the topic because my kids have never asked point blank for a sleepover. When they were really little – like kindergarten aged – they mentioned it, but it was very easy to simply say that’s not something they were quite old enough for.

Before I go further, I will say that both of my kids have spent the night at my mom’s house on multiple occasions. So technically they have done a sleepover but I have complete comfort with them staying there. I know some parents don’t have that same level of comfort with grandparents and that is why this topic is such a personal one.

From a kid’s perspective, sleepovers are a time to stay up late with your friends watching movies and laughing about basically everything. I have very fond memories of sleepovers from when I was a kid – like pretending to be asleep but giggling profusely leading to basically no sleep for the parents. As I got older, we would try out pranks like dipping the hand of the first person to fall asleep into water to see if it made them wet the bed. Spoiler alert: it never did. Looking back, I am really glad that one didn’t work because that is pretty mean.

From a parent’s perspective, sleepovers can be an opportunity for kids to have fun and give the night off to the parent who isn’t hosting. But then there is the other perspective. The one that comes from knowing very well the horror stories that have come as a result of what was supposed to be an innocent overnight with friends or, in many cases, family members. Even if you haven’t experienced this first hand, you likely know someone who has been impacted and it probably makes your heart break just like it does mine.

There hasn’t been an overnight at Grandma’s in over a year now due to the pandemic so it has bought me some time from my kids asking about any sort of sleepover.

Until recently.

My second grade daughter had been asking (and asking and asking) if she and her best friend from school can have a sleepover. I finally decided to stop giving her the answer of “maybe when we are out of COVID” and really think about it. Beyond the normal things to think about when it comes to whether or not we are ok with her starting to attend sleepovers, we also have to weigh in the fact that we are in a pandemic.

I knew the mom of her best friend was ok with it because we had texted about the idea since both girls had been constantly hounding us on the topic. I had come to know the mom somewhat well since our daughters became friends. I also trusted that they were COVID conscious, meaning they were staying home like we were and taking this pandemic seriously.

Ultimately, I had to trust my gut on the topic and ensure my husband was on the same page too.

We decided our daughter could have her friend over to our house for an overnight. She was thrilled beyond belief and it brought my heart so much joy watching her have a peer to play with in person. It was also a huge help to not have to entertain her on a Saturday night. I could sit back and just let them entertain each other.

Brilliant.

I decided pretty quickly I was sold on this idea.

Hosting was different than having my daughter be the one going somewhere overnight. I decided to let her have this friend over a couple more times to our house and to get to know her parents even more to ensure I am ok with the idea of her eventually going to their house. I know our mom instincts are not always accurate. But I am going to trust them on this topic and am really looking forward to my daughter entering this fun stage of life.

We’ll be talking more on this topic including some tips on group sleepovers which can pose more challenges since more is not always merrier.