“Good morning, Ma’am, what can we get started for you?” This was by no means the way I wanted to start my day when I walked into Starbucks for a coffee before my drive into work. I smiled, placed my order and off I went. I could tell myself this wouldn’t have happened had I opted for the drive-thru but the truth is I have been called Ma’am more and more recently and not just at Starbucks.
Sure, we can say it’s polite and respectful to use the word ma’am. There is nothing wrong or rude about it. It’s just the plain fact that it makes me feel old.
To be fair, in my 13 years of marriage, I have still never gotten used to being called Mrs. O’Farrell. I confusingly look around the room for my mother-in-law whenever someone calls me in this formal way – which thankfully is not often.
My son will throw the word Ma’am at me sometimes after I get upset with him. I think it’s his way of pointing out that if I am going to act like a drill sergeant by yelling or critiquing how he made his bed, then he will treat me like one. This almost never goes over well.
I have been to South Carolina a few times for business travel, most recently just this past spring. It seems much more common in the south to use this word than it is in Washington State where I live. While I will say I accept being called Ma’am a little easier when it is said with a lovely southern drawl, it still never lands totally comfortably for me.
It would be my preference but I fully understand I am too old to be called Miss. Yet, I still feel too young to be called Ma’am. I am not sure what the in-between would be. Perhaps “hey you” or something of that variety.
I think even when I am 85 I will perceive myself as too young and hip to be called Ma’am, even though I will be neither young nor hip except for in my mind (which, yes, is all that really matters).
I am certain you resonate at least a little with me on this. Perhaps you appreciate the manners that people show when they address you in this way. But I also bet it has taken you back even ever so slightly at one point or another.
What’s the proper age to be called Ma’am?
Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
