I’m not sure when it happened. Or why.
Maybe it’s because he was three. Maybe it’s because he was nervous about sharing his family with a little sister. Maybe it’s because I was hormonal. Maybe it’s because life got busier. Maybe it was the cold of winter, the heat of summer, his shoes were tight, my nights were short, or the house was cluttered. Maybe it was just Tuesday.
Whatever the reason, at the end of the day I would sink into the couch with a weight on my heart and exclaim “I did nothing but yell at him all day!”
Managing a home and a family isn’t easy. It’s just that. Managing. Keeping things under control. How do we keep things under control? By establishing rules, procedures, and boundaries – and keeping everyone inside them.
How do we keep everyone inside them?
By telling them to knock it off when they get outside them.
As I pondered this more and more I started to notice something else that grew the weight on my heart. When my son asked me something, I could see in his little eyes that he had begun to expect me to say no.
Not even in Kindergarten, he had already learned it was easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask permission.
Now, I’m certainly not of the philosophy that children should never hear “no.” I believe “no” is healthy, educational, and character-building.
But I do believe that children should hear “yes” plenty of times in their day.
So my goal has been to be more aware. Be more aware of the “no’s,” and more aware of the opportunities for “yes.”
When I’m actively searching for opportunities to say yes, I say it more.
Is it more work?
Yes.
Does it take more effort?
Yes.
Does it feel great?
Yes. For both me and my little one.
What do you need to say “yes” to more often?
