Marriage Humor

Perhaps the best tool my husband and I have found to keep our marriage viable is humor.

If you can laugh at yourselves, those pesky “big issues” in a relationship shrink down to a manageable size.

This gathering of marriage jokes will help to lighten things up. How many can you relate to?

Marriage is having separate toothpaste tubes because he squeezes his wrong.
My husband hates his new job … as my IT guy.
My husband and I have nontraditional roles, I control the remote while he sighs.
My husband texted me from Costco to tell me there was a long line. I think he expected me to tell him to forget it. Instead, I said, “Don’t forget the cookies!”
Husband: rearranges the throw pillows.
Me: from upstairs, “That’s not how they go!”
My husband is at Lowe’s unsupervised. That’s $500 I’ll never see again.
Most divorces could be avoided by buying two comforters!
The longer the marriage, the louder the sneeze.
My husband did a double take of me when we first met. But, I’ve also seen him do a double take of a free pile of dirt.
My husband’s favorite snack while we watch tv is whatever makes the most noise apparently. (YES! THIS!)
My husband made me mad, so I bought another half dozen throw pillows for our bed.
I put on my husband’s deodorant and now I’m angry at the way I load the dishwasher.
Stages of a relationship. I like you. I love you. Why are you breathing so loud?
Me: You sat on my glasses!
Him: gets up.
Me: While you’re up can you get me a snack?
Sometimes I hide condiments from my husband by moving them three inches to the left.