Do You Kiss In Front of Your Kids?

“Ewww,” our eight-year-old daughter exclaimed from the kitchen the other night when she glanced up from homework to find my husband and I kissing. It wasn’t even a long kiss. But it was more than a peck and clearly too much for her in that moment. This (of course) caused us to take it one step further and go for an even longer kiss complete with a close embrace.

“Mom!!!” she yelled. “That’s so gross!”

Now, this wasn’t the first time our kids have reacted in such a way when they’ve caught us hugging or kissing. And it won’t be the last. I wouldn’t expect them to think about how wonderful it is that mom and dad are still attracted to each other after being together for almost 17 years. To them, we are old people and simply should not be doing things like that because it’s gross.

I know as parents to an eight and eleven-year-old, we have many opportunities ahead where we will embarrass them or make them feel uncomfortable. Some will be intentional and some will come as a surprise to us. It is all part of the wonderful, stressful and often confusing parenting journey.

But on this particular day, instead of ignoring her reaction to us kissing, I decided to dive into it. I asked her if she would rather have parents who didn’t kiss. I asked what if every time dad tried to kiss me I pushed him away and told him that was gross. Of course, my daughter laughed and just gave the ever-so-helpful answer of “I don’t know.” Then we all laughed because my husband pointed out sometimes that is my reaction.

Point taken.

As I do often as a parent, I reflect on my own childhood. My parents divorced when I was a teenager and I wouldn’t say I have lots of memories of them kissing or dancing or embracing in the kitchen. I am sure they did sometimes, or at least I hope they did.

I want my kids to have memories of mom and dad being affectionate to one another. Holding hands, making inside jokes that end with a wink, hugging, laughing. I want them to know and see how much we care for one another.

I do love my space but this doesn’t mean I totally shy away from affection. I want my kids to be raised seeing this so that it can shape their future relationships and self-worth. When their time comes, I want them to settle for nothing less than a spouse with whom they have mutual adoration, respect and affection.

I am confident we will continue to get the “eewwww!” reaction from our kids for many years. It is often followed by laughter. I am also confident that this is how we want to continue parenting and there is nothing wrong with that.

In our house, it will remain ok for mom and dad to kiss!