Making Rest a Priority When You Have Little Ones

Rest is a weapon given to us by God. The enemy hates it because he wants us to be stressed and occupied. -Elizabeth Elliott.

Do you prioritize rest? I would venture to say that most moms, at any stage in motherhood, do not put rest at the top of their to-do list. I believe this is especially true for moms of little ones. Rest is hard to come by when you’re in the throes of the baby and toddler years. There is a good chance that you don’t have even five minutes to yourself on any given day. Our young children follow us from room to room and want to know where we are at all times. I know these sweet years when our little shadows want to be with us every minute are fleeting, but constantly being in such high demand both physically and emotionally can really wear you down! Even if we intend to schedule some time for ourselves, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. The quest for rest is so quickly pushed aside for another day in our effort to keep things moving along.

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To be honest, I am terrible at finding rest. I tend to resist it. It’s not that I don’t want to rest, I think about it all the time. I just assume I will get to it eventually or it will fall into my lap at some point. The issue with putting rest aside until everything else is done, is that there will always be more to do! I made some progress in my rigid ways after our third son was born and I just couldn’t keep up. I cut back on my list making and the daily expectations I would put on myself. I started to accept that I would just have to do what I can and save the rest for another day. Even so, change is hard.

Our fourth son just had his first birthday and boy it was a long year! A year filled with love, gratitude, joy, and incredibly sweet moments, but also of sleep-deprivation and trying to juggle a baby with the schedules and needs of our three older kids. The change in our family dynamic has been an even bigger adjustment this time around. Add to that the physical demands of breastfeeding, three bouts of mastitis, and chronic back pain. Probably not a great year to put rest on the backburner! At times I have felt like I’m literally falling apart, even though I know there are moms out there who face far greater hardship.

Credit: iStock | Petrunjela

My husband offers help whenever he can and is nothing but supportive. Still, I resist making myself a priority. Sounds insane, right? This may come as a shock, but part of the problem is that I can be controlling. I get stuck going through the motions without stopping because I feel like it will keep things running smoothly. Quite honestly-it’s hard for me to let go and share the responsibility. I want my household to be able to function and for my family to feel loved and cared for so I just keep marching forward and I figure that I when my children are grown, I will have plenty of time to rest and worry about myself. The problem with that thought-process is that there are negative side effects that go along with a lack-of-rest. Irritability, impatience, and discouragement, to name a few. These undesirable qualities not only drag me down, but also the family that I love.

I don’t want to be a stressed out, burned out, short-tempered mom. I don’t want my boys to look back on their childhood and remember that I was grumpy. I want them to remember that I smiled, laughed, and loved. Louisa May Alcott said, “Go out more, keep cheerful as well as busy, for you are the sunshine maker of the family, and if you get dismal there is no fair weather.” How true that statement is! Moms absolutely set the tone for the atmosphere in their homes. That can feel like a lot of pressure at times, but it’s also an incredible gift we have been given. Sure, my house is cluttered, my brain is cluttered, and motherhood can be messy. I mean this literally as much as figuratively; I often have cracker-filled baby drool dried on my shirt when I pick up my kids from school these days. But no matter how cluttered and messy it is, we can still try our best to bring light into our homes and into the hearts of our children. That is a tall order when you are running on empty, isn’t it?

The days and nights can be unpredictable when you have little ones. I know that regular spa days or daily time alone aren’t realistic for most moms. Rest can look so different for each of us. Maybe rest for you would look like rising a few minutes earlier to read a devotional or to get a quick workout or shower in. Maybe it’s an hour each week to read the stack of books piling up on your nightstand or more frequent pedicures. I would love to work all of the above into my weekly routine and someday I’ll get there. For now, and with the current stage my family is in, I have to start small if I’m going to be realistic about prioritizing rest.

When I know it will be one of those non-stop days, instead of being frustrated that I can’t get spend more quiet time with God, I say a short prayer. “Lord, please be with me today. In my triumphs and my failures, guide me and strengthen me. Help me to show my children the same grace you show me, and help me to honor you in all that I do and say.” Staying connected to our father is what matters the most, and it’s okay if that looks different in each season of our lives. “Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29 I love this verse, because Jesus isn’t saying we might find rest, he is saying that we will. Even when our current circumstances are far from restful, we can trust Him to sustain us.

Yes, moms; we are in high demand. But we can’t expect to pour ourselves into our families and keep it all together if we don’t find a way to recharge. If you’re struggling to prioritize rest in your life, join me in starting small. Find one realistic thing you can do each week to give yourself some rest and try to stick to it. If you love schedules as much as I do, maybe it’s easier to put it on the calendar! Whether it’s a teething baby, a preschooler that won’t stay in his bed, or a child waking from bad dreams, moms are there. We are there and our sleep is interrupted more often than not. Little ones require so much care, but we require some care, too!