Moms know all too well that there will be moments in our children’s lives that will overwhelm us with emotion. The kind of emotion where it feels like your heart grew three sizes in a day. Big moments are typically the ones that come to mind. First steps, first words, first days of kindergarten, graduations, and even weddings. What about the little moments? The things that hit our hearts like a ton of bricks and we are left thinking, “Where did that even come from?!” I’ve had a lot of these moments since becoming a mother and I’m sure you have too. I cry about things I never would have imagined crying about before I had children. I recently looked out the window and saw my boys sword fighting with sticks in the yard and got a tear in my eye. They were just so cute out there in their pretend world, in the throes of childhood and completely entertained by each other. I thought of how fast they were growing up and if they would look back at these moments together with joyfulness.
I don’t know about you, but since becoming a mom, I cry about things a lot more often than I’d like to admit. Songs, books, movies. Seriously, my family and I watched Air Bud the other night and I was sobbing! Becoming a mom can put you so deeply in touch with your emotions that almost anything can spur on some tears. When we got our fall books out this year, I went to read one of them to my younger kids when my sixth grader walked by. “Hey, come and read this with us!” I said to him. After-all, it had been one of his favorites every single year since he was a toddler! “No, thanks” He replied as he walked downstairs. It’s not like I truly expected to read this book to him until he turned eighteen. I know he reads his own books now and has long gone without a bedtime story from me, but it still hit me hard to think about how much he had grown up. As a few tears fell down my cheek, I was filled with nostalgia as I remembered all the years we had read that book together.
Another seemingly simple yet hugely emotional change happened this fall in our house-sleeping arrangements! Why would this make me cry, do you ask? First, our youngest moved out of his crib and into a big-kid bed. This was a pretty significant thing to me because never again will we have cribs in our home. It was a visual reminder that the baby years are over for us. It’s so bittersweet. I’m thrilled to see him grow into a little boy who has his very own bed, but I will always miss those cozy crib years- for better or worse!
Fast forward a few weeks, and my older boys were also getting a bedroom upgrade. Our sixth and eighth graders went from sharing a kid’s bunk bed to each having their own loft bunks with a desk underneath. It helped big-time with organization and gave them each their own half of the room. They worked all afternoon helping my husband put them together and everyone was excited about the improvement. I went to say goodnight to them that night and realized I couldn’t even hug them because they were so high up! As I reached as high as I could to hold my eleven-year-old’s hand as we prayed, I felt that familiar flood of emotion coming over me. I got into bed and my husband said, “Phew! I’m so glad we got those set up today!” Clearly feeling content with the day’s accomplishments. He looked over at me, probably expecting a similar reaction, but instead the tears just started pouring down my face. “They’re getting so old I can’t even reach them!” I sobbed.
How often do we feel that with our kids? Whether we’re letting go of their two-wheel bike for the first time, waving goodbye as they march into their preschool class, or saying goodnight to them in a new bed, those complex feelings just hit us. Even though they’re small moments in the grand scheme of things, they are also huge moments in the journey that is motherhood. All of these little things are woven together to make up the tapestry of these years we have with our kids at home. I’m so grateful to know this kind of love. I’m so grateful that God gave me these children to raise and to enjoy. Even when it breaks my heart to say goodbye to that crib or those bunk beds, to reading a favorite bedtime story or to watch them ride off on their bikes without training wheels. It’s all part of this incredible gift we’ve been given.
“And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.” Luke 2:51
With Christmas around the corner, I know I’ll have watery eyes again soon as I marvel at our jumbled-up Christmas tree, full of mismatched ornaments, keepsakes, and broken candy canes. There will likely be another fight about who found the Christmas Pickle first and chaos will ensue. But my gosh, I wouldn’t trade the little moments for anything. If that means I’m going to shed some tears about beds, books, and Christmas trees along the way, then I say bring them on!
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25
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Read more of Maria’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
