My girlfriends and I were texting pictures to each other the other day of our kids, now pre-teens and teens, back when they were babies and toddlers. It’s so fun looking back at those days with their chubby cheeks and just all-around cuteness. One of my friends commented how she missed those days and wished they were babies again. My initial response was to echo that thought. Until I paused for a second and realized;
I really don’t long for those days of raising babies.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved (most) of those days. Becoming a mom was truly the best thing to ever happen to me and getting to birth and raise humans was something I had dreamed of.
The memories of the early years with my kids are incredible and I could tear up just remembering those days. Their little voices, their first steps, their never ending cuddles. Thinking of that just makes my heart melt. Of course, I also remember the challenges like when my toddler son poured paint into our friend’s fish tank or when my daughter absolutely lost her mind every time she had to sit in the Dentist chair.
As I looked the other day at the pictures of their sweet baby faces and remembering the fun outings we all used to do together in our mom group, it brought back such fun memories.
But it still didn’t make me long for those days again.
I do have thoughts where I think for a minute how I wish they were little again. Those thoughts are always in the midst of trying to navigate a new teenager issue. It’s easy to think back to the days where my kids adored me and wanted nothing but my time; whereas now my teenage son would rather be in his room with the door closed 24/7 if he could. But while I sometimes flash back to those days, I never feel like I actually want to go back in time.
I think there are a few reasons for this.
First, let’s all agree that raising babies is hard. It is relentless. It is filled with amazing moments like those cuddles and watching through their eyes as they discover something new; but it’s also exhausting. Not only in the chaotic moments like the Dentist chair tantrums but also in the sense of every second needing to be fully present. I remember many nights when their bedtime would finally hit and I would finally breathe.
Second, it’s amazing to see what our kids are turning out to be like. When they are babies, you can of course see their little personalities forming but as they get older, I find it so wonderful to really step back and see the people they are becoming. My pre-teen daughter has a witty and often dry sense of humor and is an absolute little go-getter. My teenage son is taller than me with a somewhat deep voice and I find myself talking to him like an adult more each day it seems because he is maturing enough for me to do that with. I still have that curiosity like I did when they were babies about what exactly they will end up being like; but in these current years it feels like I really get a better view into what that might actually be.
I feel blessed that my babies are continuing to grow and that I get to see that every single day.
If you are a mom of a little one, I will never tell you to cherish every second because not every second is worth cherishing. I will tell you to do exactly what you are doing because it is enough and you are making memories with those sweet little faces; even on days where you might find yourself all cuddled-out and exhausted. Give yourself lots of grace on those days where you feel like you have nothing left to give. I promise it will not be the bulk of your memories, and it will also be good to remember you survived even through the tantrums and exhaustion.
I am finding as the kids get older, it doesn’t get easier, it just gets different. The challenges seem more complex. There are big emotions and relationships to help manage and it can be overwhelming to our kids and for us. I have reminded my kids that as they are navigating being a tween/teen that I am also navigating being the parent of a tween/teen. The cliché saying is that kids don’t come with a handbook.
I love the memories I have of raising babies and for me that is typically enough to not long for the days of doing it all over again. Except maybe on the days where my teenager is in full teenager mode.
RELATED:
PIN THIS!
Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
