I grew up Catholic. I attended Catholic school from kindergarten all the way through high school. I literally held the title “religious representative” for my small school’s ASB in 7th and 8th grade. I was the cross bearer at my high school graduation. I’m not trying to paint the picture that I was the perfect Catholic student. But when it came to the Catholic “stuff”, I was all in.
There wasn’t a season of Lent that went by that I didn’t give up something for those 40 days. Lent is supposed to be a season of reflection and preparation for Easter. My Catholic upbringing had made it clear that this meant sacrificing something for that time period. As a kid, this would mean giving up having fruit snacks in my lunch for 40 days or not eating chocolate. As an adult, I have sacrificed many things over the years including 40 days without coffee; that one was really challenging. I have also given up spending money on fast food or coffee. Also pretty challenging.
Clearly, I recognize none of this even compares to Jesus fasting in the dessert for 40 days.
Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and ends the Friday before Easter. This year, Lent is March 5th-April 17th.
This is probably year 30-something of me recognizing the season of Lent through giving up something for 40 days. This year I had every intent to recognize the season in a similar fashion that I always did. My Catholic upbringing makes it a tradition I love continuing.
Except this is now the second year I have forgotten.
I realized on March 10th that Lent had begun on March 5th.
Like the time before, no reason or excuse. I just plain forgot.
Was I all of a sudden a bad Christian for not having this on my radar? I know the answer is no. But I couldn’t help but have this feeling of guilt for forgetting. I think we used to call that Catholic Guilt when I was growing up.
After shaming myself a bit in my own head for letting that date come and go, I realized a couple of things. One, certainly there is no requirement for anyone to observe Lent in the way of sacrificing something. Just because I had been brought up that way did not mean I had to continue. Second, as a mom I have the ability and authority to help shape how my kids observe this season. If they chose to do so by sacrificing something, that’s great. But if we decide as a family to do something different than I am all for that.
Despite the fact that I missed the start date, my family and I gave ourselves grace and simply started later in the season.
We were only 5 days late so luckily the guilt was easy enough to get over.
Except for my Catholic guilt seeping through, there was no actual negative outcome of starting later in the season. I realized that although I do like gearing up for the season and thoughtfully planning for it, it is not about a certain date. It is about recognizing the season to prepare for Easter and the resurrection of Christ. This is all still possible despite perhaps not initiating that on day one of the Lent season.
This season, in addition to giving up meat, I have tried to also focus more on the Easter season. What it really means. How we can reflect on that and make ourselves better Christians and better people. If we need to give up Taco Time or candy or coffee in order to help us do that, I am all for it. But I am not going to allow the guilt to slip in if I don’t follow it to the same rules I have in the past.
I did the same thing last year where I gave up some “thing” but also put a focus on the season. Like most moms, I move fast through life sometimes because it’s so busy and chaotic. Putting the challenge on myself to stop and focus has been really nice, and I am only a few days in.
Do you celebrate the season leading up to Easter in some way? Do you give up anything for Lent? We’d love to hear!
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Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
