“A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.”
Do you currently have an adorable yet demanding toddler in your home? Whether you are going through the toddler phase for the first time or the fourth like me, you know how unpredictable each day with your little one can be. They have a curiosity that can’t be quenched and a knack for mischief. They are sweet one minute and unbelievably sour the next. Their laughter is magical, yet their screams can rival the sound of a Piccolo Pete on the 4th of July. Sometimes, it’s easy to look at the toddler years as a series of battles. I know that my husband and I have felt that way on more than one occasion! It’s hard not to when a tiny human is screaming on the floor next to you for thirty minutes straight because you had to (fill in the blank!). Meal battles, bedtime battles, you name it! Some days, whether due to teething, a short nap, a disrupted routine, or just because the sky is blue, toddlers can take you on an emotional rollercoaster that never stops and boy, it can be exhausting.
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My family has had our share of days like that lately. Our older boys are six, ten, and thirteen so needless to say, we have a lot going on in our home at all times. We do our best to meet everyone’s needs, to listen to each child, to manage the chaos, and to make sure they all feel loved and supported. Be that as it may, it can feel nearly impossible to do those things when a wild animal, I mean toddler, is flailing in your arms. Even though this isn’t our first rodeo, it never ceases to amaze me how much emotion can fit into such a small package. I wouldn’t say that two is terrible, but two certainly can be turbulent!
For example, there are currently dining forks and vitamins shoved down my heater vent. My son throws at minimum, one meal a day onto the floor for no apparent reason. Rice is probably my least favorite to clean up because of the way it squishes across the floor and sticks to your socks. It is also one of my least favorite things to clean out of the washing machine after it has been secretly stuffed into pockets during dinner, but that is a preschool-aged story for another day.
One night recently, my husband and I were trying to play Charades with our three older boys. I made sure our youngest had some toys that would hopefully entertain him for a few minutes since it wasn’t yet bedtime, but he couldn’t resist hurrying to scatter the card stacks all over the ground as soon as our game was underway. He wants to watch Mickey Mouse when his brothers want to watch Star Wars and he is an expert at making sure his opinion is heard. He pushes our dining chairs around the house to reach the things he wants. He knows where the chocolate cupboard is and notices if anyone leaves the baby lock off. He climbs on the fireplace and the dining room table. He throws freshly folded laundry over the railing and down the stairs. He pours the cat food into the cat water. He finds things from around the house and puts them in my coffee and tea.
When our oldest was a toddler, he covered his bookshelf in Vaseline because he wanted to paint and emptied his bladder into our houseplants. Our second son was on a mission to locate all Kleenex boxes and empty every single one in between trips to the fruit bowl to throw the apples across the room. Our third son at that age made a habit of stomping on our chicken’s eggs to see if he could “get the chick out” and also decorated our bed with a sharpie. They put spaghetti in their hair, they splash water all over the bathroom when you ask them not to, they throw things into the toilet, and they run into the woods when you say to stay on the path. There is no doubt about it, raising toddlers is a full-time job! They are constantly putting themselves in danger and are consistent in their unpredictability.
Do you know what else toddlers are? The most heartwarming, forgiving, affectionate, resilient, and honest humans you will ever have the pleasure of knowing. These years are hard, there is no question. They are very physically demanding as we care for, play with, guide, and protect our toddlers. There is probably a good chance that like mine, your little one is still waking at night and leaving you with little energy to start the morning. These years can also be emotionally draining as the days sometimes move slowly and we try to navigate through what feels like a mine-field of toddler tempter-tantrums. They aren’t babies but they aren’t quite independent, either. They have all sorts of ideas and also understand far more than they can communicate to us. Mostly, toddlers are simply learning. That learning can make a mom’s job really difficult sometimes! Many of us have left parks with our little ones wailing while the fun comes to an end and we have no choice but to wrestle them into the car seat, sweating and wondering if anyone has just called the cops to report a kidnapping.
I’m not an expert by any means, but I know there are a few things that make life with toddlers a little bit easier:
- Don’t over-complicate! I still catch myself doing this on occasion. Using fewer words and offering them fewer options goes a long way.
- Toddlers thrive on routine, but they are also resilient if that routine needs to be interrupted once in a while!
- This is an age when we have to set up boundaries, but as they push the boundaries to learn it is important not to take it personally.
- Try not to let your toddler’s behavior embarrass you. Even though no one wants to endure a meltdown in the middle of the store, a doctor’s office, or a family get together, these meltdowns are a part of their development. Our reactions to those meltdowns are what matter. Striving to keep our cool when our little one can’t, makes a big difference!
- It’s not always easy but try your best to remember how fleeting this stage is, especially when the days feel unbearably long. Before you know it, things won’t be quite as messy, physically demanding, and chaotic.
How do you feel about the toddler years? Are you glad to have them behind you? Does your heart ache to have those days back? Or maybe you’re currently in the trenches of this sweet and unpredictable adventure and just trying to make it to bedtime without stepping in another sticky mess or witnessing another fit. Wherever you are in your toddler-journey, I encourage you to try to embrace it for the crazy time that it is. The good days, the bad days, and everything in between, motherhood is the most incredible gift. Hold those little hands, kiss those messy faces, and appreciate the stage your child is in for the brief moment they are in it. I am exhausted, my house is often a mess, my back hurts, the list goes on and on. But I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Every sleepless night, every sore muscle, all the tears and tantrums. All of it is beyond worth it because I get to be their mom, and what an honor that is.
May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ. (2 Thessalonians 3:5)
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Read more of Maria’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
