I was going through my closet today and came across an old hoodie emblazoned with the words “HOPE ANCHORS THE SOUL”. I had gotten it a few years ago as part of a fundraiser for my friend who was battling breast cancer. She has since proclaimed victory over the disease. Praise God! When I saw the shirt hanging in my closet this morning I thought, “Man, I really should get rid of that old thing.” I mean, she already beat cancer, right?
I thought back and could remember exactly how I felt when I first got the news of her diagnosis. It was a gut punch. I work in the medical field so I knew all too well what she would have to endure going through treatment. The surgeries, the chemo, the hair loss, the fatigue, the weakness. All that knowledge made the diagnosis seem even more cruel.
I wanted to DO something so I organized a fundraiser and I took her dinner and I PRAYED. Hard. I scrawled her name in my prayer journal and shared updates with my church begging their prayers as well. Then, after so many months of fighting, she received the news we had all prayed so hard for: Remission. She had fought valiantly and had beaten cancer! And although there’s always the whisper of “what if” lingering in the back of my mind, I genuinely feel like my friend is healed and that cancer is behind her.
With the beast that is cancer beaten back for now, I’ll admit that I no longer pray for my friend as fervently as I once did. When I pray for her now, it’s most likely a prayer of thanksgiving for her healing. And while I realize there is real value in that, I also know that remission doesn’t undo the havoc that cancer can wreak. Just like adoption doesn’t undo the trauma a child lives with after enduring abuse or neglect. Just like time doesn’t erase the hurt and sadness of losing a loved one.
It seems to be my nature to pray hard when things are hard. Then at the first hint of good news, my worry muscle relaxes. I’m pretty sure my worry muscle is directly connected to my prayer muscle, so I tend to stop praying about the person or the situation like I did when things were dismal. I guess I sometimes turn a blind eye to the fear that remains and the marriage that is struggling and the heart that is still at least a little bit broken. And while I don’t want to focus completely on the bad/sad and ignore the good, I also don’t want to gloss over the heartache so much so that I forget to pray about it.
I’ve decided I’m going to keep that hoodie after all. I’m going to hold on to the reminder that hope really does anchor the soul (Hebrews 6:19). It anchors the soul in the middle of the storm and during the aftershocks. And I think I’m going to pull out my old prayer journals and offer up some fresh prayers for some folks who are still dealing with scars left from old battles.
RELATED:
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How to Support Someone with Breast Cancer
Read more of Abbie Mabary’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
