What if you could say to 2020, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” On this episode of the podcast you’ll be reminded that God has an incredible story written for you and it doesn’t end because of quarantine. Take a listen today to singer, songwriter, dad, husband, podcast host, Matthew West who joins Julie Lyles Carr with laughs and wisdom to brighten up your day!
Listen to “allmomdoes Podcast #139: Matthew West – Your Story Matters” on Spreaker.
On This Episode:
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- Follow Matthew West Online, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram
- The Matthew West Podcast
- Take Heart
Full Transcription:
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:00:00] Today on the allmomdoes podcast you’re not going to believe who I have in the house. His voice is always on the airways is one of those prolific creators and writers that just comes along every now and then. And you just got to stand back and go, wow. Today. Matthew West Matthew. Thanks so much for being with us.
Matthew West: [00:00:26] Well, thank you. Thanks for the kind introduction. And thanks for having me on your show. I, when I think of the perfect podcast for me to be a guest on, I think of a podcast called allmomdoes
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:00:38] You fit the profile? My friend, we’re going to grandfather you and it’s going to be just fine.
Matthew West: [00:00:43] Okay. Well, I live in a house full of women, so maybe that qualifies me
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:00:46] 100 percent. If you are in the estrogen haze, then you, you actually get a pass to get to come on the show.
Matthew West: [00:00:52] Yeah. Yeah,
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:00:54] Tell my listeners who you are, what you do, where you live, all the things.
Matthew West: [00:00:59] Absolutely. Well, um, my name is Matthew West and I enjoy long walks on the beach and mint chocolate chip ice cream and words that rhyme.
I live in Nashville, Tennessee. I’m a singer and songwriter. I am a writing books and now I am a podcast host as well. So every, every podcast I get to be on, I’m learning from their hosts. And, uh, so I’ll be learning from you today, taking mental notes on how to do this. Most importantly, though, I should have led with the money most important, which is I am a husband, to, Emily West, my wife of 17 years, and we have two incredible daughters.
Lulu is heading into her freshman year of high school and Delaney is heading into sixth grade. And so 14 and 11 year old. We have a little dog named Nick that we got on Christmas Eve. And that’s why his name is Nick, but he his no saint. And that’s our family. So, uh, my life is, um, Every day is a different creative adventure for me, from songs writing too well in normal days to touring, to interviews like this or recording a podcast.
So life has been very exciting these days also very, uh, chaotic, you know, just like the rest of the world. So you’re catching me today at a very interesting time. In my career, interesting time in our world. And most of the day, I’m just trying to figure out how to be the best leader I can be for my family.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:02:25] Right. It is such a wild time, particularly for those of us who are in the event space if you will, in the touring space for myself as a speaker for you as a singer songwriter and touring, it’s, it’s weird. How’s it been being off the road for this long? And is this the longest you’ve been off the road?
Matthew West: [00:02:43] Yeah, it has. I mean, since several years ago, when I had a surgery on my vocal chords and then I had to take close to a year off before stepping on stage again. But this is, you know, I’ve used the word unprecedented and unprecedented amount of times. I’m sure your listeners might agree, but Casting Crowns and I were doing a tour together and I think March 7th, we were getting ready for a show and I think it was Trenton, New Jersey.
And just a few steps away from the arena where we were, the governor was making an announcement that the state of New Jersey was shutting down. And I haven’t been really on stage since then. It’s been a very interesting season, like never before. So I think my family’s probably getting sick of me.
They’re probably saying, Hey, don’t you have a tour bus to get on a, we need a little break from you, but selfishly I’ve loved it because for all the time I’ve had to spend away from my family, my people, I feel like the Lord’s kind of given me a sort of restored some of that time, that was lost in a way.
And so it’s very bittersweet, you know, it’s it’s and I’m sure a lot of people will, will share in that agreement of it’s a giant cloud over our heads. The clouds have some silver linings, but it’s still a cloud.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:03:57] Right. What do you think you’ve learned about yourself? Because, you know, anytime I think that we have a heading in a way that we identify ourselves, the thing that we tend to know ourselves for, even when we’re multifaceted, but if there’s something that’s really kind of the lane that we’ve chased and we’ve worked toward, and then all of a sudden, there’s this unexpected detour, how has that played out for you as you have been looking toward? Okay. We don’t know when things are going to be back on the road. We don’t know when that part of how we, know you is going to come back into play. What’s that been like for you and your walk with God?
Matthew West: [00:04:29] Well, I’d be lying if I told you that I’ve navigated the path of 2020 with grace and ease. I wish I could tell you the perfect Christian answer.
You know, that I’ve just kept the faith sister, but, you know, quality is I’ve had more days than I’d care to admit where I didn’t feel like I led my family the way that I should, I’ve had more sleepless nights than I’d care to admit. I’ve had more times where my anxiety really kind of would take over and my tension level would, would be at an all time high.
I just, a lot of decisions weighing on me, a lot of things. Uh, you know, when none of your plans work out the way you think, man, that’s, uh, that’s not easy for anybody to deal with. And so I think what I’ve been learning about myself is my tendency to when it hits the fan, man when the whole world comes crashing down, I go into survival mode and for me, survival mode tends to be work mode, you know?
So it’s like, man. These last several months, it’s like I’m written 15 songs, I’ve started a new book, I launched a podcast. Uh, I’d like to tell your listeners about some great new steak knives that I’m selling. We can cut through. I mean, you know, but just this. The feeling of this pressure of like, I gotta provide for my family, I got to take it.
You know, I’m not going to be stopped by this. And while a lot of that has yielded some really cool things, you know, like the podcast for example, that’s launched. It’s like, I’ve also come to this point just in the last couple of weeks where I felt like the Lord has been kind of nudging me. And I feel like what’s been said to me is you’re doing a great job.
You’re working hard. But don’t let this season go by without working on yourself. More importantly, letting God work on you. And so Psalm 46:10 has been a big verse for me, my whole life, because it’s really hard for me to live that verse. And that verse says to be still, I’ve never been good and being still another translation says cease, striving.
Which really speaks my language because I’m a striver, you know, and I’ve been striving these last four months to keep our family afloat, keep my employees afloat, keep this whole thing afloat. And you know, sometimes you just got to admit that despite my best efforts, there’s too much water in the boat.
And, uh, and I can’t, I can’t save me. And so I’m going to allow God to work on me. And truly come to a point where I’m trusting that he’s going to come through because I can’t fix what’s broken.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:06:54] Right. I think for any of us and believe me, if there were such a lane in the strength finders book, striver would be probably one of my top five, just like you I’m there as well.
And definitely feel that sense. How have you and your wife navigated because, you know, I don’t know about you friends, but wow. I’m seeing some marriages blow up around me in the midst of COVID because of the stress, because for some couples, they just haven’t had that much time together in the previous several years, and all of a sudden here they are actually having to hang out together and dealing with some stuff that hasn’t been dealt with.
So how have you and your wife. I’ve been trying to navigate this because it’s a big deal to all of a sudden you’ve been on the road. I know my husband and I, our schedules have always been kind of opposite. Now he’s here and he’s obviously from the house and on and on. What are some things you guys have been doing to really embrace this time and not allow it to become some kind of weird relational friction?
Matthew West: [00:07:47] Yeah, it seems like a, you know, a lot of couples have gone in extremes, you know, there’s a lot of divorces and a lot of babies and yeah. You know, we’re not making any babies, I’ll tell you that much, but, uh, but I think, you know, you kind of come to this point where. As a family, you know, you love your family members, but do you like them, do you enjoy spending time with him.
Thankfully, thankful to say that. I, I like my wife. I love her. There’s no question, but I like her. I like spending time with her. I like how her Instagram page makes me laugh and she shows a sense of humor. Sometimes it’s just, I don’t know, she’s just funny, you know, and she’s, she’s really kept our home really a safe place during this storm in this craziness.
So I think from a navigation standpoint, on behalf of our family, I’m also thankful for my wife, because she’s never been afraid to be a truth teller in my life. You know, she, um, she doesn’t cower, she doesn’t hold back. She sat me down early on in quarantine and she said something like this, “Hey, you’ve got to do a better job.”
Yeah. You know, what she was talking about is I was waking up and I was turning on the news, you know, every morning and just because the news was changing every five minutes and you’re like watching that, that cases toll and that death toll rise on the right hand corner. You guys know what I’m talking about and.
I just felt like that tension level would just get going first thing in the morning. And then my wife was like, look, you’re doing that. Then you get your all wound up and you know, the kids are watching you and they need to know that it’s going to be okay. You know, they need to be assured that, you know, that you’re able to handle this pressure because if you’re not, how are they going to be able to?
And boy, it just really helped me reset. Yeah. And realize that. The truth is, is I’m just a different person when I start my day reading my Bible, imagine that. And, uh, and so I think there’s been a lot of reset moments like that, where I’ve had to kind of go, okay, I I’m not. I need to be calm under pressure.
And a lot of times I’m not, you know, I’m pressure under pressure, right. And, uh, that’s something I’ve, I’ve asked the Lord to really help me with on behalf of my family too. There’s a lot of pressure on my kids on our whole family, but can I be a calming leadership presence? And so that’s some of how my wife has helped me navigate and, uh, you know, I’m also a fixer of problems, but some problems you know, especially when you’ve got daughters, sometimes they just want to tell you what’s going on. They’re not asking you to step in and try to fix that issue with their friend or whatever it may be. So I’m a work in progress as a dad. You know, as a follower of Christ and I screw up more often than I care to admit, but that’s kind of been a little window inside the West house over these last four months.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:10:46] Right? How do you take those feelings of anxiety and channel them towards something positive, like creativity without getting in the ditch of just overworking, you know, because we can do that too. We can think it’s creativity, but really we’re just, band-aiding stuff. We’re just masking stuff. But I also know.
You know, there are incredible creative things that can come out of challenging times. So how have you worked toward not getting into the place where you’re stirred up, being still enough to really listen, but then taking that and converting into something that is going to speak to people, whether through a book, a podcast or a song?
Matthew West: [00:11:21] Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know. I think, um, a lot of times my creativity has been a mask for me just staying busy so that I don’t have to sit alone with my thoughts, but the, you know, the fact that I’m, I’m a good songwriter, you know, I’m, uh, I’ve gotten good at some things. I I’ve worked hard and I’ve put in my 10,000 hours, I’ve done 10,000 hours of interviews so guess what I think my podcast is going to be pretty good.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:11:47] It’s going to be amazing,
Matthew West: [00:11:48] But I do acknowledge that sometimes good things that’s what’s crazy is like the songs I’ve written during quarantine, the podcast, all these things is really the proof that God. What he says in Romans eight is true.
Like he can work all things for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. But all things, sometimes I try to do all things and then hope that God will use those and I don’t need to do all the things. And so honestly, yeah, I still struggle with that balance like crazy sitting alone with my thoughts has never been my favorite thing to do.
Taking my thoughts to the world, for whatever reason, that’s always seemed even easier than sitting alone with my thoughts. And I think one of the reasons is, um, there’s a book that I read by Henri Nouwen and, and it talks about the importance of solitude, silence, and prayer. It talks about how uncomfortable that is for the average person. And the reason is because when you sit alone with your thoughts long enough, you’re uncomfortable because you’re faced with the reality of who you are. It’s so tough to really examine your head and examine your heart and do some real work on you, some inventory. And yet it’s so important because when you’re alone, that’s where God can meet you and that’s when you come face to face with the fact that you are lost without a savior, that you’re a mess. You know, the places your mind can go, the places your heart can go when you’re not following the lead of the God who made you. Yes, some people are probably listening, going, man I love to be alone.
I, you know, get me away from people. And for me, that’s been a bigger challenge, like forcing myself to be alone, forcing myself to be comfortable and work through the discomfort of those moments and really pray as David prayed, search me, God and know me, take some inventory. Tell me if there’s any unclean way in me.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:13:36] I think that that is a really profound thing to consider is this idea of, you know, our base personalities really impact how well I can sit in that space because you’re right there are people who like to be alone, they’re fine with it. They, their own company is fine. Whatever the voice is in their head. They’re fine. And then there are those of us that, Oh, man. Just give me something to do, give me an activity and I’m going to be okay. But to sit still gets really, really hard. One of the things I appreciate that we were talking about pre-interview is in that place of getting still, you also decided to take on and learn some new things.
And one of the things I want to have as a takeaway from this time, and however long, this continues to last, because it seems like we’re in the extended play version, not the radio play version, this particular song that we’re in. And what I’m realizing is I have been in many ways, acting, eating, sitting on my couch and sort of letting this year, pass me by, instead of saying, what can I be doing to improve myself, to grow, to grow in my relationship with God, to grow in my personal growth.
So I love that you took it upon yourself in this season to start learning something new, which is to be on the other side of the mic. Talk to me about how you had this idea to start the Matthew West podcast and what are you wanting to do with it? You know, you’ve had some time to sit and consider this.
So what is the catalyst for it and where do you want it to go?
Matthew West: [00:15:00] Well, like we were talking about, I mean, the creativity in this season has been, you know, I think it’s the job of the creatives and the artists in the world to somehow find, you know, you’re, you’re extracting hope out of what looks like a hopeless situation.
I felt like that’s always been my mission as a songwriter. And so songs have been written during quarantine and the excitement of just creating music that will be a light in a dark world. So sometimes it’s funny songs. Like I wrote a song about quarantine life and Friday night toilet paper shopping online and then, and then serious, like take heart inspired by John chapter 16, verse 33, where Jesus said in this world, you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world versus that were helping me in some of my sleepless nights. And as far as learning new things, I think for me, it’s just kind of always come to too many times. I’ve decided for God how he’s going to use me and I go and get ahead of God and then I circle back around once I’ve made that thing happen and then I seek his stamp of approval. Right. You think about that, that phrase stamp of approval? Like, do I want God’s plan for my life or do I just want his stamp of approval on my plan for my life? And so this has been a season of going all right. I don’t get to go on tour. I don’t get to communicate with people through my music in quite the same ways that I normally would.
Lord, am I willing to dare to believe that there’s other giftings you’ve given to me, that ways that you want to use me that are going to blow my mind. And am I going to step into a, a second phase? You know, we talk about second phases of reopening our country. What if there’s different phases of us becoming who we are and who God made us to be?
You know, a lot of times, as a musician, you get into this one dimensional thinking and you get scared to death. If I’m telling you inside, I’ll show you inside my brain for a second. You’re convinced that any minute now, the world is going to say, okay, we’ve had enough at your music. We’re moving on to the next new thing.
And. And sometimes you just tend to think, well, I’m just going to ride this season out for as long as I’m popular, as long as this podcast wants to have me. And when it’s done the best part of my life will be over. But that is a lie and that’s not what that’s, that’s Satan’s plan for us. That’s not God’s plan.
You know, I think, I think it’s all about the second phase. It’s about the pivot. It’s about the dreaming, the new dreams. You don’t just have to live in the old ones. And so launching this podcast is actually a realization of what a new dream looks like and the reality that, you know what I’ve, maybe I’ve had some hit songs.
I’ve had people buy tickets to my shows, but why do I think that that’s the best of my life? What about the rest that I got in front of me, if I believe God is who he says he is, then maybe the best is yet to come. Maybe my finest contribution to the world is still ahead of me, now that’s, that’s the thought that fires me up.
And, uh, and so that’s been what I talked about yesterday. I did a live broadcast from our, uh, my Facebook and Instagram. I talked about the story of Joseph. Now it talks about how, you know, Joseph was given this incredible opportunity to pivot, to dream again, to go into different phases. Nobody liked his dream in the beginning, his brothers hated him, tried to kill him, then decided to sell them off as a sleigh, but Joseph’s story progresses and he begins to dream a new dream and he winds up in a position of power to the point where his brothers who tried to kill him are now asking him for mercy. And Joseph said, what you intended to harm me, God intended for good.
And I think about what, if we all could leave 2020 and say that to 2020, you know, 20 20, you intended to harm me, but God intended it for good and look at the ways that he made something good out of it. So really every episode of this podcast to me just makes me smile. Cause it’s a, it’s a little reminder for me of like, look whatever intended to harm me in 2020 God intended it for good. And now there’s a good thing going out into the world with every interview I do, with every story that’s told in the podcast. It’s just another, hopefully an encouragement to somebody listening to go well, wait a minute. Maybe I can dream a new dream.
Maybe the best chapters of my story are still ahead of me and not behind me.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:19:11] Right. You know, Matthew, that just exemplifies for me, one of the stories I’m passionate about in the Word which is about Caleb, because you know, what was supposed to be the prime of his life, he gets turned away from the promised land.
They don’t go in and he was the guy saying, I know we can do it. And then when he’s 80 and God says of Caleb in the book of Joshua, that Caleb has a different spirit, you know, Caleb at that point at 80. Said, I know how to go in and take the land. And he taught that younger generation the art of war and showed them how to go in and take hold of this new thing, this new season, and it’s just fired me up because I’ve thought so often we are the ones who kind of make ourselves obsolete because you’re right. We get in a lane of identity. We think it only has to be this or serving in this way or this thing that we’ve accomplished, or we know how to do.
And we forget the beauty of learning a new thing and, and Jesus told us, see, I do a new thing. So that whole idea that you’re bringing, and I love that that was the seed ground that you put in place a different spirit to say, yep, I’m off the road. I am not living life in the way that I’m accustomed to living it. But I’m going to do something new. I’m going to ride the wave in. I just love that and salute you for it.
Matthew West: [00:20:21] Yeah. I’m super excited about it. You know, every episode of the podcast is going to feature some storytelling. You know, I’m passionate about the power of people’s stories and, and letting people know that their story matters.
You know, so many people I’ve met have been made to feel like somehow their story is insignificant. And so what I’m going to be doing is going to be a balance in every episode of interviewing people whose stories are more publicly known, but diving into parts of their story that people might not know.
So an interview with some of my favorite artists, influencers, authors, pastors, speakers, whatever it may be, athletes. And, and, and sharing conversations with them, but maybe sharing parts of their conversation that you didn’t know, or that would maybe encourage you to go, wow, this person I look up to wait, they still they still had failures or they still made these mistakes or whatever it may be. And then every episode, there’s a segment called songs from the story house, which is the name of my home studio, where I’m coming to you from where I write my songs. And we’re going to dive into the stories behind some of the songs that have been born here in the story house.
And then the final segment of every episode features my dad whose a pastor and he’s been a pastor for over 40 years. And, uh, we just close out every episode with. He gets a little word of encouragement, a scripture, and, uh, it’s called dad vice and that’s because he’s my dad and he gives good advice. So that’s going to be the format of, of every episode. And the final episode every month is a Q and a form where people they’re the star of the show. They get to call in and share their stories. I feel a little bit like Delilah in that episode.
Wednesday there’s going to be a new episode out and, uh, I just, uh, I’m so excited. I’m just as excited, releasing this podcast as I ever have been about a record, you know, it’s just fun. It’s fun.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:22:09] That’s so encouraging to hear. And this crazy season we’ve been in, you know, you’ve had a unique perspective being on the road and encountering a whole lot of people, people lining up to see you coming back to the green room to talk to you. All of the things. Before all this started, what would you say was the really deep felt need?
One of the top felt needs that you were experiencing with these crowds. And now in this season, that’s quieter. What do you think that. Top felt need is now for people, the people who are coming to your Facebook lives, the people who are interacting with you online.
Matthew West: [00:22:40] Well, gosh, man, I think one of the things I said moments ago about people feeling like their story doesn’t matter or their story is insignificant, or maybe it’s disqualified because they’ve messed up too many times.
I think that’s been a big. You know, that’s something that I’ve picked up on over the years and the thousands of people I’ve met and the thousands of stories that have been sent to me, just, you know, people, not sure what to do with the messed up chapters of their story, but the enemy’s trying to get them to know what to do, you know, to say, well, give up because you were abused, give up because you’re divorced give up because you’ve had addictions, give up because you didn’t have a relationship with your dad, give up because you’ve been a horrible dad and you’ve blown your chance, give up your story doesn’t matter. And so, I mean, that’s just been something that, all throughout my music career.
I think that’s why so many of my songs are about the theme of grace. You know, I think we talk about God’s forgiveness, but we rarely let ourselves off the hook, you know? And, um, and so I hope that’s been and I still think that’s a message. I still think that’s what people need to know that they are known that they are loved despite their, their mistakes.
And then, right now, what I think is so overwhelmingly clear to me is every time I do a lot of live broadcast, we do these quarantine quiet times every Wednesday, and I get thousands of comments and most of them are prayer requests. And what I’m finding out is it’s funny like no matter what’s going on in the news, the reality is for a lot of people.
COVID-19 is just another major need on an already long list, right? For some people this lockdown or this loss of job is just another thing added on top of an already existing battle with depression an already existing. Um, Marital issue a son who’s a heroin addict. Um, a husband who just walked out on him, whatever it may be, people are, you know, just, I know this, this is not an earth shattering revelation, but people are hurting.
People are going through the fights of their lives. And I feel like for a lot of people like the shutdown and quarantine and COVID has kinda been like that. I don’t know that last crack in the ice that’s yeah. That’s made them feel like they’re sinking in some freezing water. So I guess just right now, I mean, maybe it’s one of the reasons why I wrote that song Take Heart. Yeah. Cause I feel like the same message Jesus offered to his disciples. In that moment he’s offering to us, you know, we’re in need and he’s willing to give, right. He’s saying, take this, take this as what I offer you to take heart, which means take courage, which means don’t give up, which means take peace in the middle of chaos.
Take my strength when you’re too weak to stand, take joy in finding silver linings, even under this cloud, take everything that I offer to you, because everything I can offer you is everything that you lack and everything that will help you make it to see tomorrow. So, you know, I think that’s what I’m feeling that’s going on for people.
You know, it’s a long list of needs and hopefully every time we bring those needs to the Lord, we’re reminded that he’s not surprised by them.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:25:53] Well, Matthew, you obviously bless our ears with your incredible music, your incredible writing and voice, but more importantly, you really bless our hearts because I think you do tap into those things that people are really feeling the places they need to be seen and understood.
And you bring that to life with your music. I’m so excited for people to experience the Matthew West podcast. You’ll find it wherever you get your podcast on, you know, all of the Apple podcast and the stitches and Spotify and all the places everywhere. Awesome. Well, Matthew can’t thank you enough for being with us today.
I know that my listeners are gonna love this. Hey, best wishes to you on the podcast. And for whenever you get back out on the road, I’ll be cheering you on.
Matthew West: [00:26:30] Well, thank you.
Julie Lyles Carr: [00:26:31] Be sure. And check out the show notes that our content coordinator, Rebecca puts together each and every week of big shout out to Donna, she is our producer and helps make sure that the audio quality and all the things are the way they need to be so that you can get the episodes. I would love to ask you a big favor. Would you do this for me? Would you go and subscribe and like the podcast, wherever you get your podcasts, it really does help get the word out.
And if you leave a save five star rating and a really sweet review, you might just get to hear your review read online here on the podcast. I would love to connect with you on all places social. You can find me Julie Lyles Carr. I particularly love Instagram. So come see me over there. And while you’re on the web, be sure and check out allmomdoes.com, which is our blog and website. It’s an incredible resource for you. And of course, allmomdoes on the socials. And we also have the allmomdoes podcast discussion group, where I check in and chat with you throughout the week about the episodes. So would love to see you there as well. I’ll see you next time right here on the allmomdoes Podcast.
