The annual Ladies’ Retreat. I have such fun memories from ladies’ retreats over the years. Late nights, laughing, soul sharing, faith strengthening, sisterhoodbuilding memories. And so, most years when the sign up sheet is posted, I enthusiastically write my name in. I fill out the registration form and write my check, knowing it’s going to be a great time.
Why is it, then, that 24 hours before it’s time to go, I get cold feet? What seemed like a no-brainer 3 months ago now seems like a terrible idea. Leave my family for the weekend? Give up much needed time to catch up on housework, laundry, etc? Meet new people? It all feels overwhelming and frankly, a little bit un-fun. Cue all the guilt. Guilt because I’m leaving, guilt because I don’t want to go.
Don’t you think Satan loves that? I can almost see him smirking, rubbing his palms together, and relishing watching the turmoil churning inside of me. I’m pretty sure he would love it if I was overcome by guilt and anxiety, changed my mind, and stayed home. Because a weekend full of worshipping and fellowship and joy really cramps his style. He loves to get us all twisted up and alone and worried.
Our retreat begins today and I’ve spent the last few days praying about it. Praying that the guilt and worry would be lessened and that excitement for the weekend would be prevalent. Praying that the ladies who are preparing to leave their own families would have peace about it. Praying that anxiety about the unknown: people, plans, etc. would be squelched.
And as a result, I am genuinely excited about going. God is good and prayer works. I am really looking forward to a relaxing weekend away with other women who are walking a similar path. We all love God and are trying to be more like Him every day. It is so encouraging and empowering to hear their stories of struggles and successes. I am grateful to be surrounded by a group of women who love God and love me and are willing to give up time and open doors to allow me to get to know them better. Women who are honest enough to say, “I almost didn’t come, but I’m so glad I did.” Me too, sister. Me too.
Read more of Abbie Mabary’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
