We only get one life to make memories count with our kids. I’m not talking about the fancy vacations and filling up your weekends with random events; I’m talking about the intentional time we take to simply get to know our children. As they grow up, they will be more likely to lean into us with the difficult stuff if we have taken the time to love on them, gotten to know who they are uniquely meant to be, and shown them what it means to truly build relationship.
This Blog is sponsored by Woods Coffee.
Step 1: Find a hang out spot. My family loves a good trip to Woods Coffee. The atmosphere is calm and relaxing. There is something about a fireplace and wood grain that instantly puts my mind at ease. There is coffee for mom or dad and snacks for the kids. For extra fun let them get a hot chocolate or a vanilla steamer! It is the perfect place to relax and it won’t break the budget.
Step 2: Conversation Starters. Once you are caffeinated and have snacks, make sure you have some questions ready so you can draw your child out. Maybe you have a child where conversation comes naturally, but that may not always be the case. When you want to dig a little deeper and get to the heart stuff, it is helpful to be prepared with some questions! Here are 10 questions to help you get started. You may want to adjust these depending on the age of your child.
- Who is your best friend? Why do you like them?
- Has anything embarrassing happened to you lately at school?
- What is your favorite thing about our family?
- Is there anything that has been making you sad lately?
- If you could make three family rules, what would they be?
- What are some things we have that you are really grateful for today?
- If you were going to write a book, what would it be about?
- Have you encountered anything lately that has made you uncomfortable?
- What is something you feel you are really good at?
- How do you make yourself face your fears?
Step 3: Turn Off Your Phone. Unless there is a very high chance of an emergency happening in your life, put your phone away. Don’t have it on the table. Keep it in your bag or pocket. This is the time where you want to focus solely on your child. Look them in the eyes. Tell them about your life. Ask about theirs. They want to feel like they aren’t fighting for your attention.
Step 4: Don’t rush. It can be hard to just relax when you aren’t used to sitting still, especially if you are the kind of family always on the go. Force yourself to sit still. If you need something to do while you are chatting, bring a few card games, some coloring papers, or write a story with your child. We always love to do this with our kids. One person will star the story and then the next will continue and we’ll go around to see what type of story we come up with. It can end up really silly, but it can also bring you into the mind of your child. It’s a great way to learn to think on your feet as well! (Hint: If you need to, bring a note pad and paper so if you suddenly think of something you have to add to the to-do list, you can jot it down, get it out of your head and continue with your child.)
Step 5: Tell Your Child You Are Proud Of Them & Love Them. It can seem like such a simple thing, but your child needs to hear you say the actual words. Don’t fall into the “oh, they know, I show them.” Nope. Say it. Out loud. To them. Make eye contact. Maybe you are going through a really difficult time with your child, or something hasn’t been going right, this can be a great time to identify an area that is going well and to show your child that you love them even amidst the challenges.
Friend, make the time now. Kids grow up in a blink of an eye and then you are left wishing you had made different choices. Make today the day you schedule it.
Woods Coffee can’t wait to serve you and your family. Their mission of serving others well and making a difference in the lives of each of their guests, is at the core of who they are. Always family-friendly, always great coffee, and the perfect place for great conversation! They have locations in Bellevue, Bellingham, Blaine, Bothell, Burlington, Edmonds, Ferndale, Lynden, and Mount Vernon.
