Guest post by Leilani Glassmyer
I remember after having my daughter thinking I would not have another child after her because how could I ever share the love I have for her with another child; I mean one of the kids would suffer or feel less loved right? How can I (could you) love your two children equally, let alone spread your time with them equally? Will one feel less loved or more left out?
I had this huge fear and misconception that I only had a certain amount of love in my love tank that could not be spread between more than one child; I thought I had tapped it out with one. I was scared I would not be able to love the second child as much as the first. I was afraid I would be spread too thin and I thought one child would always lack.
Fast forward 8 years to now and I am 7 months pregnant with my second child and though the fear has not completely subsided, I am starting to see that my love can be greater; shared and not spread thin. I never thought my love could grow so much in such a short period of time (and my second baby is not even born yet!). Not only has my love already expanded but watching my daughter’s love grow for this little precious being in my belly as she rubs my belly and talks to her baby brother makes me melt into a pile of butter.
I also remember how terrified I was having my first child and look – I did that!
I now daydream about seeing my children play together and have that sibling bond (which is not something I got to experience as being raised as an only child). My love tank is big enough for two. Because of God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26) and I am able to be a great mom to both my children.
Do I still have fears? Yes, but God blessed me with two because He knew I was capable of loving, taking care of and raising both of them. I don’t have to have it all figured out or mapped out right now (neither do you). I will take in each moment as it comes and cherish both of them in each of those moments. It’s beautiful how effortlessly a family can come together, not missing a part and not being able to remember what it was like before each member.
Did you fear having another child? How did you get past your fears?
Leilani Glassmyer is a mama of two. Lives for Christ, her family and naps. Believes coffee and love makes the world go round. Writer, photographer, encourager and dance party enthusiast.
