Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I have slowly, and with lots of fail, been trying to get back into a morning workout routine. I used to get up at 4:12am every weekday morning to make my 4:45am workout class so I could be showered and to work by 7:15am. Yes, you read that right, 4:12am. Apparently 4:10am was too early for me and 4:15am was cutting it too close to get there on time; who knows my exact rationale.

I could blame it on the pandemic (and I do often use this as the excuse) but these days I work out maybe half of what I did three years ago. I often think about the woman I was years ago and I have no idea how I had that much motivation every single morning. These days I throw myself a parade if I manage even one morning workout in a week. While thinking about my past self can be used as a motivator to get myself up some mornings, it can also be used to do something that I struggle with and often fall into the trap of.

Comparison.

When I compare my past self to my current self, my head can fill with negative thoughts. Thoughts about the weight I have gained, the muscle I have surely lost. Those negative thoughts are almost automatic. I have to then stop and remind myself that nobody is the person they were three years ago. That can be in good and bad ways. I focus on the things I wish I was today that I was three years ago. But what I tend to not focus on are the wonderful things about current me that past me would be excited to know was in store for her.

Comparison truly is the thief of joy.

With the arrival of summer, of course many people I know are taking vacations. Some are taking multiple trips to amazing tropical destinations. Our summer this year consists of summer camps for the kids and lots of time at home. Those feelings of comparison come in strong when I hear my friends talking about their trips and we have zero planned. In those moments, it is so easy for me to think about how amazing a Hawaiian vacation would be and wish it was on our summer agenda.

What I forget in those moments is just how blessed I am in countless ways. I know many families are struggling with how to pay for summer camps. My kids are signed up for some awesome camps that they are excited for and that in itself is a blessing. Summer can be a stressful time for all of us but I sometimes need to check myself because my stressors are much smaller than many.

I forget that we have two big reason as to why we are sans trips this summer. We just did a major kitchen remodel and we just got a puppy. Those are two huge, exciting and expensive things in life. When I think about this, it is actually kind of embarrassing that somehow those thoughts of comparison even enter my mind. But they do.

PC: Stephanie O’Farrell

Comparison creeps in focusing more on the woe is me side of things. Comparison not only takes joy from all the amazing things in life but it can also take away from being genuinely happy for loved ones in my life.

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ (Galatians 1:10).

When those thoughts of comparison arise, I have to remember that is Satan at work. Not only trying to crush my own happiness for what I do have in life but trying to crush my ability to celebrate those in my life when they have exciting things happen.

We can combat those thoughts by acknowledging that God’s work is above all. In the moment where those negative thoughts creep in, I find prayer to be a wonderful tool to quickly remain on the right path.

I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. 2 I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing the praises of your name (Psalms 9:1-2).

If we allow it, comparison can strip us of so much. It can paralyze us from remembering the gifts and blessings that we do have. Regardless of how many vacations we take or how fit we are or countless other ways that someone could compare to; we all struggle. We can all find ways to compare and allowing that to steal our joy.

The truth is, none of that stuff even matters. I fully believe I am living the life that God intended me to and I thank Him every day for this life. It clearly doesn’t come without having to stop and remind myself at times when those negative thoughts arise but it’s easy to squash when I remember how good it feels to be grateful for all that I do have and the happiness that His blessings bring me.