Whether it is big life changing conversations happening, or a million small conversations about both big and small things, creating space in our homes where we can have honest and free conversations with our children is vital.
Making the most of opportunities as they present themselves like choosing to turn the radio off sometimes during car rides allows for conversations to happen organically.
One rule I enforce on myself is to put down whatever I have in my hand and make eye contact with our children when they approach me with that all too familiar “Mummy????!!!!” Even though it is the hundredth time that morning, I show our children that what they have to say to me is important and takes priority over my phone or laptop or book. There will be times when I drop whatever I’m doing and listen to them and engage with them until they go off to something else, and there are also instances where I will give them one minute of undivided attention to communicate that I need to finish what I’m doing first before I can listen to their story and that I believe creates a great atmosphere of respect and self worth in the home as opposed to the mindless ‘’um-hmm’’ response while still scrolling on my phone.
We are made in the image of God, and God is a talker! He created the entire universe by the power of His Word. We see that even before creating man, God had a conversation about what He intended to do.
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. Genesis 1:26-27
If you have littles like me, there is definitely no shortage of talking points in your home! It may seem overwhelming sometimes, especially if you have a quite nature and prefer to be quiet most of the time. I encourage you to look at these seemingly endless conversations as windows into your child’s heart and mind. A way to measure how they are being formed and a clue as to what needs to be reinforced in terms of virtue and Godly perspectives. It is also important to note that as we encourage our children to come to us with any and everything, they are forming muscle memory that will make it easier for them to have conversations with us when they get into their teens and beyond. We want our children to know that our home is a safe space where they can freely share their thoughts, feelings, doubts, fears, aspirations, dreams and everything in between. That when they open up to us, they will be met with undivided attention, a listening ear, wisdom, love and encouragement.
Teaching our children to communicate in a healthy, respectful, kind way is one of our responsibilities as parents. Our children watch and learn from us, and we need to pass on healthy communication habits like being careful not to hurt others by our words, remembering to think before speaking, waiting our turn and not interrupting, to speak the truth and to make eye contact while having a conversation.
Sometimes, meaningfully conversion in the home will need prompting. A great idea is to have everyone in the family share their highlight of the day during family time. Even toddlers will have something to say, actually they usually have the most to say which is beautiful! Get creative with it as everyone can share what they liked most about their day, something new they learned, how they overcame a stressful situation or even a struggle they are going through that the family can pray about. The possible talking points are endless.
It is important to recognize that not all days will be the same. Some days everyone will be eager to share and other days they will need extra prodding. Stick it out, be consistent and diligent until it becomes part of your family culture because it is worth it! Having a healthy climate of conversation in your home will deepen relationships and make it so much easier to have meaningful discussions on sensitive topics.
Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone. Colossians 4:6
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Read more of Rachel’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
