“Take showers and brush your teeth!!!” I shouted from across the hall directing my kids that it was time to wind down and get ready for bed. I knew that five seconds later, a fight would ensue because they would both want to shower first. Or second. Or someone would steal the other’s towel. Or basically anything allegedly worth fighting about. I foolishly told myself they will work it out together. Moms, we know how that story ends. Of course within about a minute, I have to go in and help them figure out who gets the bathroom first and which towel belongs to which child.
This is why bedtime still exhausts me.
I look back to the memories I have from when my kids were really little. I remember how relentless it was. The days when I couldn’t leave them in the tub or shower by themselves or expect them to brush their teeth on their own. The days when it took constant one-on-one attention to get them into pajamas. It was exhausting. These days, at ages six and nine, they are self-sufficient in many ways. I still don’t totally trust them to brush their teeth thoroughly so I often micro manage things I perhaps don’t need to.
Despite my kids being able to do things like shower and put on pajamas on their own, bedtime is still an exhausting routine. It seems like bedtime now includes moments of, “Wait, did you finish your homework?!” and “Are you sure you washed your armpits?” Instead of reading to them, they read to us. For my nine-year-old who loves to read this is an easy task. He will read forever on his own and it’s never been an issue. For my six-year-old who pushes back, it leads to conflict.
The bedtime routine hasn’t gotten easier as a whole, it’s really just shifted to a different kind of challenge.
I get up before anyone in my house so by the time they are needing to wind down, so am I. It’s this time in the evening where my patience significantly declines and all I want is a bit of peace so I can wrap up the day and prepare for the one ahead. Lunches to pack, often emails to finish up for work, cleaning the kitchen so we don’t start the following day already a step behind. Bedtime for the kids simply makes me more aware of the ticking clock counting down the hours until my ridiculously early wake up time. It gets this Type A mom a bit anxious. And exhausted.
In the nine years I have been a mom, I have yet to find a sweet spot for the bedtime routine. I know there are moms who find it rescues their day. I have slowly accepted this is not my view of it. This honestly brings a bit of peace because I am not in an internal guilt battle with myself trying to change how I really feel. Turns out it’s ok to not love everything about parenting.
Moms, do you find bedtime to be a cherished time of day or does it leave you feeling exhausted like me? We’d love to hear!
Related:
Dear Bedtime Routine, You Exhaust Me
The Case for a Brief Bedtime Routine
Mom Confession: I Miss Bedtime Twice a Week
How Our Bedtime Routine Rescues Our Day
I’m a Stickler for Early Bedtimes
Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
