The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalms 34:18 (NIV)
As moms, we have many expectations when we are pregnant – most of which we envision with delightful anticipation. We feel our baby kicking inside, watch it on ultrasounds, talk and sing to our bellies, and we can’t wait to meet this precious new member of our family.
If we give birth to a child with a diagnosis of a disability, we are faced with a paradox. We love this baby. But we are also devastated. Our picture of motherhood, of family, is radically altered. The dreams we have are dashed. The emotions we expected become a jumble of sadness, fear, grief, guilt, and even shame. Many voices clamor – inside us and from those who want to help – telling us how to feel and what to do.
If you can relate to this and you need permission to grieve, I’m giving it to you now. Feeling loss doesn’t mean you don’t love that little bundle in your arms. It doesn’t mean you are a bad mom. It only means you’ve had a paradigm shift and it’s hard. So hard. Nobody else can fully understand. It may help to share your pain with trusted loved ones. And if it doesn’t, know that God understands, and you can share your grief with Him.
PRAYER:
Lord, you say you’re close to the brokenhearted and save the one crushed in spirit. Today I ask you to be close – oh so close – to the precious mom reading this. Whisper hope to her spirit. Breathe new life into her. Help her know that You see her tears and feel her heartache, and You care. Amen.
Author Bio: Elizabeth Griffin is a senior writer at CRISTA Ministries. Her journey as a mom of a child with autism can be followed on her blog “Follow the Dots.” If you would like a free copy of Elizabeth’s book Fragile X, Fragile Hope, let us know at comments@allmomdoes.com.
