Don’t Be the Parent You Want to Be. Instead, Be the Parent They Need.

We all enter parenthood with a vision of the mother we want to be. It might shift a bit over the years, but for many of us that ideal stays pretty static. And since nobody is perfect, it’s safe to say that each of us falls short of being the parent we want to be.

But you know what? That’s okay. It’s time to stop striving to be the parent you want to be, and instead be the parent your kid needs.

Maybe you imagined yourself a strict mom who’d run a tight ship, but if you enforced every rule you’d be on your boisterous child’s case non-stop so now you just pick the important battles.

Maybe you dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom, but now you work full-time to provide the private school education where you’ve seen your kid thrive.

Maybe you imagined yourself as a super-involved parent volunteer in school, sports, and extracurriculars, but you’ve realized your constant presence has become a crutch that’s prevented your child from having to interact with their peers.

Maybe you thought you’d keep a tidy house, but your kid needs more one-on-one time with you and you can’t keep everything to the same level you used to.

Maybe you imagined a close-knit relationship, but your child’s behavior is demonstrating a need for more firm boundaries.

Maybe you always pictured yourself as a mama bear, but have discovered your kid needs to fight his own battles.

Or maybe you wanted to raise your child to be fiercely independent, but in this season they need you to step in and help carry the weight of whatever they’re facing.

There isn’t one “right” parenting style. And just because there’s a parenting style you love doesn’t mean it’s right for your kid. So take the pressure off and take a step back. See if the mom you’re trying to be is the one your child actually needs. And make that your goal rather than trying to live up to an idealistic image that wasn’t based in reality, anyway.