Faith is a funny thing, isn’t it?
I used to say that my faith is unwavering, but is that really true? I don’t question whether God is real. Nor do I question that Jesus died for my sins and brought me salvation. Those parts of my faith truly are unwavering.
But, there are other facets of faith and I have to say that those other parts do a lot of wiggling.
There are times when my faith is on fire. It feels like the scales have dropped from my eyes and I see things clearly. I find scripture verses that speak to me and prayers that flow out of me.
I love those moments.
And, then there are those times when my mind is on autopilot and so is my faith. I read and reread, but the words don’t sink in. My study and prayer times feel like drudgery. I learn nothing and I can’t seem to focus on anything, even God.
I’ve found that faith isn’t a stagnant thing. It ebbs and flows. There are times I can hardly contain the joy that my faith brings me. Then, there are times when it slumbers. It’s there, but it is buried under so many layers that it is easily ignored.
There are books and writings galore about how to reignite faith and there are plenty of good ideas in them, but when my faith is tired, I feel incapable of igniting it again.
And, that used to make me feel so guilty.
Lately, I’ve been trying something new. I push the guilt away and allow my faith to lay quietly for a while. Rather than put stress on myself to amp things up quickly, I rest. My prayers during this time are short and simple. I allot myself only one page a day in my Bible instead of whole lessons.
I am finding that the times my faith is quiet are as important as the times it is on fire. I allow my Father to just hold me, and I give myself permission to rest in His love. I’ve never done that before. I was always striving to grow my faith, pushing myself to be better, do more and prove myself.
It is so freeing to know that as a child of God I can mix in rest and recovery without constantly trying to earn His love.
I am surprised to find that the times of rest without guilt ignite my faith faster than any book or study ever has.
“And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.” Genesis 2:2 NKJV
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