Alright, momma. This one’s been coming for a while. I have solved the dilemma that moms have when it comes to how busy we should keep our children. Are you ready for it? I think it might blow your mind.
It depends on the child.
Ha. Too dramatic? A little anticlimactic? Perhaps, but I’ve learned a few things about my own family that I thought I’d share in the case it helps you find that elusive balance you are so strongly seeking for your family.
To be fair, I’m often known as the mom who says no. We say no to a lot of things so that we can say yes to all the right things. Here’s what that means for my family and I hope it encourages you as you move forward in your own.
Know Your Child
This is #1 in our house. I am of the belief you shouldn’t enroll your child in an activity they are going to hate just to try it. In my personal (non-professional, scientific or medical) opinion kids get exposed to a lot of different types of activities in school and you will begin to see where their skills and passions awaken. Pay attention. My daughter loves art so we are looking into an art class for her to take. She’s also very athletic so we are thinking about a sport type of activity for her, however, whenever I mention it she says she doesn’t want to do it and screams. I’m not going to push her into something that makes me have to deal with that scream on a daily basis. Not worth it. Maybe as she gets older. My son loves math so we are looking for ways he can apply that skill. He loves robotics. Any mention of sports and his eyes glaze over.
Rest is Important
For our family, it is essential that we don’t overdo it. Here is what I know about my kids. If we do not have very low key weekends, they are overtired during the week and fall apart. I know this. This is why I limit the amount of activities we do on the weekends and make sure we are at home a certain amount of the time. I say no to a lot of things. After school my kids are tired. They can handle 1 maybe 2 days of an activity, depending on the activity. If we do more than that, they melt down. I know this and I make sure that I take this into consideration when we are planning an activity. My kids love being at home and they need that time to decompress and function.
Don’t compare
It’s likely that people around you will have different schedules than you, their kids will have different skills and desires and they will need more or less rest than your kids. That’s okay. Don’t compare. Your child doesn’t need to be in all the things because their best friend is in all the things. Parenting is not a one size fits all situation. Know your family, know your kids and make the best choice for your kids and family.
Saying no can be tricky. You will have to say no to fun things. It’s okay. Make the best decisions for your family and be at peace. I know because of the way we have decided to make these decision in our house that melt downs have decreased, my kids are well rested, they are better and more fully awake when at school and are more fun to be around. They don’t want to be melting down! Nobody wants that.
Be Honest
If you are struggling with feeling guilty over not doing an activity, be honest about it. If you are feeling pressure from another mom or someone for not signing up, be honest. Talk to them about making the best choices for your family. Remember, saying yes to one thing always means you are saying no to something else. Take the time to make sure you are saying the best yes for your family and for your children.
You’ve got this mom and I hope this encourages you to take a look at what the best choices are for your family. Whether it’s a packed full schedule or a more relaxed lifestyle, either is okay! Make the right choice for your family and that’s what counts.
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