Forced Rest

We hear it all the time: “Moms, you have to take care of yourself or you won’t be able to take care of anyone else.”

But, do we really HEAR it?

Apparently, I don’t.  And, I think most moms are right there with me.

Recently, my older (and wiser) mentor told me I needed to rest.  I had been beyond exhausted recently and every move I made felt like I was trying to slog through quicksand.  So, it felt really good to have someone tell me I needed to rest.

And, then of course I completely ignored her advice.

Because that’s what moms do, right?  We keep on going no matter what.  So, I kept slogging through the muck and trying to be the best mom I could be.

At the end of each day I’d look back on all the things I accomplished even though I was completely exhausted.  And, I felt proud.

Is that really the right emotion to feel?  IS it something to be proud of if you push yourself past the point of exhaustion, mentally and physically?  Why do moms do that?  What do we get out of it?  And, the biggest question of all: Is it worth it?

I was raised to keep pain silent, to never complain and to keep pushing on no matter what. And sure, there are benefits to that way of thinking.  But, there is also a not-so-positive side.

You won’t be surprised to hear that I eventually crashed and got really sick.

You know that saying: “I couldn’t keep my eyes open”?  Well, I literally and physically could not keep my eyes open.  They just wouldn’t respond to my commands anymore.  Besides other symptoms (too gross to mention), came bone-crushing weariness.  My arms and legs felt like lead and whenever I tried to stand up the world twirled around me.

This time I had no choice in the matter, I had to rest.

I was stuck in bed for over a week.  I slept, and slept, and slept some more.  I slept day and night.  I was too drained for television, books or even music.  I was too sick to even think about all the “shoulds” in my life:  the dirty floors, the laundry piling up and the food rotting in the fridge because no one was cooking it.

And, I felt God saying, “Finally, girl, you listened to me.”  I laid there with no distractions, locked in a place of only rest and nothing else.  Yes, I was scary-sick, but the blessed rest felt so good.

I wish I could say that I had amazing flashes of new understanding of scripture.  Or conversations with God that surpassed most mortals’ understanding.  But, I didn’t.  The only prayers I could manage were a few mumbled words of, “Heal me, Lord” before I passed out again.

But, God understands rest.  And, he values it.  And, he’s really, really smart.

I’m the one who puts the pressure on myself to perform and ignore the signs of exhaustion.

I need to rethink the whole “keep going” mentality.  Should I be worshipping it as much as I have been?  Might I “work” some rest into my life and pay a little more attention to my body’s needs (not to mention my soul too)?

So, pull up a chair, mom (or, a nap bed) and give yourself as many breaks as you need.  After all, even God rested.  And, He knows its importance.