I don’t know about you, but I feel like every time I settle into a moment of feeling thankful for the reality of the season, 2020 throws another curveball that challenges that gratitude. Thanks, 2020. You’ve been a lot of fun.
Jesus has been challenging me a great deal on my definition of gratitude. While none of us could have anticipated that 2020 would have looked the way it does, I honestly think each of us have been handed a holy invitation. It’s like God is reaching a hand out over and over saying, “What are you thankful for? Things that won’t last? Things you’ll never take into heaven? Or are you thankful for the things of eternal value that no one can take from you? Beloved, fix your eyes.”
I came into this year in the throes of chronic illness. I spent many days unable to function, overwhelmed with physical pain, and suffering emotionally at the hands of guilt and shame that I wasn’t the mom I wanted to be. One thing that many people who don’t suffer from chronic illness don’t understand is the space that suffering physically takes up in your life. I was overwhelmed but leaning on Christ, begging Him to realign my eyes to see my identity in Him and not my illness.
I was scheduled for surgery at the end of March, but COVID-19 amped up and it was postponed. At this point, we all thought that school would be back on in a few weeks and life would return to normal. I didn’t see God working at the time, but of course, He was. Praise Him, because had I undergone my operation then, I would have been at-home teaching my kiddos through surgical recovery. He really knows better.
Surgery was rescheduled for early June and I continually placed it before the Lord. I felt Him asking me over and over, “Is your hope in this surgery or is it in Me? Will you still believe I am good if you are still in pain?” I continued to surrender my hopes and ask God to help me believe in His goodness.
Unexpectedly, I had a very hard recovery. I wanted to be grateful that my surgery had gone so well and that I had an excellent prognosis moving forward. But as I remained on bed rest far past the first two weeks, I struggled to feel thankful. The Lord drew near and I saw Him evident in so many areas of my life. He allowed me to pause and see His faithfulness to me, my family, and my community during that season. I am still rejoicing in that now, with new challenging circumstances. His past faithfulness spurs me on to look for His new mercies.
Gratitude is hard right now. We stare uncertainty, division, and overwhelm in the face every day and there is not an end date in sight. I would be lying if I said that there’s not a part of me that would like to bypass the holidays this year because much of it is going to be different (and sad) in so many ways. But I want to remind you of one thing that scripture tells us.
“And they sang responsively, praising and giving thanks to the Lord, “For he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever toward Israel.” And all the people shouted with a great shout when they praised the Lord, because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid.”
Ezra 3:11 ESV
The people of Israel, beginning to rebuild the temple after coming back to Jerusalem from exile, praised and gave thanks to the Lord. Many were weeping because they had seen the first temple, many were overjoyed at the beginning of the new one. But they gave thanks.
Friend, this Thanksgiving, let us not let the circumstances of the current days sway us away from the gratitude that God so rightly deserves. Things are hard, no doubt. But He is infinitely, wonderfully, and unendingly good. No matter what we walk through, His goodness remains the same. Lay your struggles at His feet and remember that your praise echoes with the praises of hurting people from the beginning of Creation. He hears you, He loves you, and your thanksgiving reaches Him with so much power. May He be the source of your joy and the object of your gratitude this Thanksgiving.
By Emily Klesick
Emily Klesick is the happy wife to Aaron and momma to three amazing boys Grayson, Kaden, and Nathan. Along with her work as a wife and a mom, she is a full-time student pursuing a career as an English teacher. She is deeply passionate about encouraging wives and moms to lean into what the Lord has given them and to receive His love and grace in the midst of their everyday lives. If you’re looking for her, it’s pretty likely you’ll find her listening to an audiobook or taking her energetic dog on a long walk!
