I Have Become A Toddler

My sister and I went out to lunch with my daughter and granddaughter the other day. As the meal progressed, we realized that our roles had flipped, and suddenly my sister and I were the children, and the younger generation was in charge. If I’m completely honest, we have become more like toddlers than children.

Somehow, without us realizing it, we have moved backwards in life and now need babysitting.

First, we had to be monitored while we decided what to order (so we wouldn’t order junk food). “You can’t have that, you’re diabetic.” “I thought you were trying to be healthy, that’s not healthy.” My poor daughter had quite a job keeping us in line. We could not be trusted to choose an appropriate meal and needed the input of our “betters”.

Once our meals were decided, we had to be reminded of our manners. We talked too loudly, laughed too much, and forgot our restaurant manners. We got in trouble more than once and had to be shushed repeatedly (to be fair, we have always had trouble behaving in public and it has just grown worse as we age).

Our food finally arrived, and we were made to tuck napkins into the necklines of our shirts. One thing my sister and I do know is that we will drop food on our clothes at every meal. It’s become a fun betting opportunity to see who will stain their shirt first. We are even in the standings. My daughter has threatened us with bibs. She also reached across the table whenever we had food on our faces and tried to wipe it off. I’m surprised she didn’t spit on the tissue first!

Needless to say, we did not get dessert. Dessert is for good girls, and we were a bit unruly.

We were asked if we had to go potty before we left the restaurant. We are notorious for having to pee at the most inopportune times. I did have to go, so I wandered into the bathroom. I got to go by myself!

On the way to the car, my sister tripped on the curb and fell into a garden. Her clean pants and white tennis shoes got dirty. Thereafter, she was made to hold my daughter’s hand wherever we went so she wouldn’t fall again. My sister did not want to hold hands and she complained loudly. She was threatened with a nap.

After lunch and a few quick errands, my sister and I were actually ready for naps. Everyone knows that toddlers have to nap in the afternoon (and so do old ladies). I’m sure my daughter and granddaughter were also exhausted after our little outing. It’s hard to keep two old ladies in line. It’s as hard as, well … keeping toddlers in line.

My sweet daughter has finally raised her kids so they can pretty much take care of themselves and now her mom and aunt have regressed into children again.

At the end of our day, my sister announced to my daughter, “Honey, you are officially a member of the sandwich generation.” I still remember when I hit that phase. I was taking care of children AND my parents. It was a stressful and exhausting time. It happens to pretty much every adult child and it seems to hit when your life is already crazy-busy.

So, I’m trying to be a good girl. I really am. I’m not perfect and I misbehave more often than not. I forget my manners, I eat things I shouldn’t and I make messes that I don’t want to clean up. I am toilet-trained though (for now!).

Life is strange and it is awkward to be reduced to this childlike stage of life. I’m trying to enjoy the fun parts and minimize the not-so-fun parts as much as possible.

For her part, my daughter is strict, but fair, like any parent should be. She shows me the same grace that any mom of toddlers must exhibit on a daily basis.

With some compromising on both sides, we will get through this tough phase of life.