In years past, I have chosen a theme word for each new year. A word will come to my mind and I will focus on it, pray about it and come up with a plan to integrate it into my life. It works sort of like a resolution except in a kinder, gentler way.
Well, after the year I’ve just had, I’m excited about having a new year but no words were coming into my head to focus on. I finally realized that it’s hardly surprising considering that I can barely remember my own name right now. But, I still felt guilty about my lack of a plan.
I tried to just paste in words like: serenity or relaxation. But, even those seemingly carefree words were too heavy. I know myself and I know that weirdly I would put pressure on myself to come up with complicated plans to find serenity and relaxation. And, if I failed, I would feel awful. That’s hardly what I need right now.
So, along with no resolutions (I gave those up long ago!) there will not even be a focus word for the new year.
Instead, I’m going to float for a while with no plans and no new goals. I waited to feel guilty about this decision, but one thing this yucky old year has taught me is that it is okay to live in survival mode for a bit.
Often, we are so full of plans for our lives that it’s impossible to hear the quiet voice of God leading us in a certain direction. In the battered and exhausted state I’m in, I’m finally ready to be still and listen.
And, what a relief it is. Instead of madly making my own plans for this new year, I will quietly wait for His plans to open up to me. Strangely enough, this decision has given me more relaxation and serenity than I’ve ever experienced before.
I shouldn’t be surprised. God has a way of bringing so much beauty out of dark and stressful times.
What are your plans for this new year? Or, like me, are you going to float for a while?
Read more of Ann’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
