Today, I am sitting across from you at the coffee shop with a warm latte; we are sipping and chatting. I am looking you in the eyes and telling you something important. This is something someone recently said to me and it pressed itself into my heart, into my life.
I know you are overwhelmed. And, I know you are doing your best.
I know you are balancing being a mom, wife, worker, volunteer, and sister, daughter, other and it is hard. I know you feel as if you are carrying a big burden on your shoulders, that you aren’t finishing your to-do list, that you feel as if you are messing up because you are moving so fast trying to get it all done.
I know that you are sick of people giving you advice and trying to make it better because it just feels as if they are telling you that you are doing it wrong. I know that you feel anxious with a knot in the pit of your stomach at all your responsibilities in life. I know that you know you can’t do it all, but you still want to. You think that if you don’t it will reflect poorly on you, that you will be judged negatively, that you will disappoint your children, your husband, your boss, everyone.
I know that you feel guilt. I know that you feel frustration with your children, with yourself, with your husband. I know that you cry out to God in anger because you feel like you are doing everything he wants but you don’t hear his voice, feel his Spirit in your darkest times. I know that you snap at your kids because your emotions are riding on the surface. I know that you are trying to bury these feelings of guilt, frustration and anger down deep because you feel as if they are wrong. You feel as if you should only feel thankfulness, joy, peace and wonder.
But, you know what….
It doesn’t mean you are a bad mother if you have negative feelings sometimes.
And, so, mothers everywhere…I am here to tell you something! I validate your feelings of anger, frustration and pain. I validate your feelings of despair and the feeling that you want to scream at the top of your lungs. I validate those feelings and am here to tell you that I know they are real.
You are doing the best you can and it is going to be okay. Maybe not right this second, maybe not tomorrow. I don’t know when. But, I do know I am rooting for you and even better God is rooting for you. And, if you need to complain for a moment, go for it. Let it out. I won’t give you any advice. I’ll just be a safe place you can come to find a listening ear. After you finish, I’ll give you a great big hug (or maybe just an elbow bump), smile and say “You’ve got this.” And, the thing is…you really do.
