I won’t bore you with the details, but here’s the short version: Two years ago I got fed up with adult acne, made some dietary changes to fight it, and lost 15 pounds.
I’m not gonna lie, I looked great.
I also felt great.
But then I gave up on my diet and gained it all back. And you know what?
I don’t even care.
When my journey started, it had nothing to do with weight and everything to do with my skin condition. I eliminated specific foods and made some lifestyle changes. I saw results, including those on the scale. But since weight loss wasn’t my primary motivation, it caught me off guard.
I even remember telling my husband that I thought our scale was broken because my weight kept dropping.
At my lowest, I felt amazing. I felt lean. I felt strong. I felt attractive.
I felt confident.
And it showed in the way I carried myself and the way I interacted with other people. I felt less self-conscious about my belly bulge and cared less about what other people thought.
I was less concerned about others’ perceptions, and more authentically me. It was so incredibly freeing. There’s something about living life unencumbered. You become more real. More honest. And you know what I learned?
That my weight didn’t actually matter.
Though I didn’t think I put a whole lot of stock in my physical appearance, finally reaching my “ideal weight” made me realize that I had. And once that was removed I found my relationships were stronger because there wasn’t this invisible wall between me and my friends. I was a better mother because there wasn’t this constant nagging that I didn’t quite measure up. I felt like a better wife because I wasn’t so self-conscious about my body.
Fast forward a few months and the scale now reads exactly the same as it did before I began this journey. But that’s the only thing that’s changed.
The confidence I found when I rocked a bikini remains. I’m forthright about the embarrassingly unhealthy culinary indulgences that make me happy. I feel more bold reaching out to others to develop relationships.
Now, if I’m being completely honest, I wouldn’t mind losing those pounds again. I liked the way I looked, and the way that I felt.
But for the time being, I’m loving other things. I’m loving the realization that NOBODY CARES. That I’ve realized that people like me more for who I am than what the scale says. That people actually appreciate me MORE because I’m being true to myself instead of putting on an act and pretending to be someone I’m not.
And I’m really loving that I can eat whatever I want without shame.
{In all honesty, I’m not sure I’ve ever known what that’s like.}
In fact, I’m willing to bet that the majority of people who know me personally haven’t even noticed the difference in my weight because, really, it doesn’t even matter to anyone but me.
Ladies, we put so much weight in what the scale says. We find so much validation in numbers. And while I certainly don’t want to discount the importance of being healthy, we need to stop finding our worth and confidence in weight.
Be you. Be authentic. Be honest.
If you regularly binge on wine and Oreos, don’t hide it. If your weight pains you, don’t joke about it and pretend that it doesn’t. Just be YOU and know that you’re worth loving no matter what the scale says.
You’ll find it so much less lonely when you do.
Dear mama, you are beautiful. Whether you have 5 or 500 pounds to lose, it does not change your intrinsic worth. Don’t wait for the scale to tell you that you are worth love, friendship, or happiness.
Instead, know that your value extends far beyond numbers. And know that the people that truly matter will see your beauty regardless of what the scale says. Your weight will not make you happier or more whole.
And I know you may not believe me until you see that magic number on the scale and realize that it really is meaningless. But if there is one mama out there – just one who is striving for that numerical validation in order to unleash her self-confidence – let me tell you:
- You are beautiful.
- You are valuable.
- The people who really matter love you anyway.
- You will have no more to offer once you reach that milestone than you do at this very moment.
If you want to lose weight, do it. If you want to be healthy, do it. But if you think that you will be a better woman once you can fit into a certain size of pants, you’re mistaken.
Everything of value is already inside of you. Unleash it now.
Stop waiting until the scale tells you it’s time.
