I was heading to my favorite place in the world the other day, Target, when I thought about texting one of my friends to see if she wanted to join me. We could grab a coffee, browse around while chatting and catching up, grab things from the $3 bin we don’t need but are yet in desperate need of. You know, the usual. But then I realized I just didn’t have the energy for it.
Not for the shopping trip. I almost always have the energy for that. But for the company. I didn’t have the energy to be with anyone other than myself.
Sometimes in my haste of being an extrovert, I forget I need to recharge like an introvert.
My personality can certainly be categorized as extrovert. I start my day early and hit the ground running. Literally- because I run at 5am. And not alone. I am a huge fan and believer in group fitness which means I am typically being social by 4:45am when I arrive at the gym. This sounds like a nightmare for most people and certainly for those not wired to be social at such an early hour.
From there, my day has virtually no downtime away from interactions with people. As a Human Resources professional, I guess you can say I sort of signed up for a life full of dealing with, well, humans. And since kids are humans too, and sometimes monsters or aliens, I continue going full speed ahead. Guessing this sounds a lot like your days too.
For the introverted mom, things like chatting with other parents at school pick up can be extremely intimidating and painful. For extroverted moms like myself, I am all over chatting it up and I likely unknowingly overwhelm some of the introverted moms and teachers.
However, when it comes to recharging, I relate much more to an introvert than an extrovert.
I have some close friends who are extroverts through and through. They love being surrounded by people at all times and feel recharged by the energy they get from their social interactions. They don’t long for an evening of complete silence. They would, in fact, rather have at least one other person there just so they are not alone.
Not me.
While I love things like wine tasting with my girlfriends or going out to dinner when we can have a moms night out, I do not truly recharge with those things. I need those nights for my sanity. To have a bit of release, to connect with my friends, to laugh, to know that they too struggle with the same parenting and marriage dilemmas that I do. But that alone would not leave me recharged.
I used to feel guilty or silly for craving time just to myself. It was like my extroverted side was fighting with my introverted side. But slowly I have learned they each balance me out. They each bring me energy in their own way.
Mom, are you an extrovert through and through? An introvert? Or somewhere in between? We’d love to hear!
Related:
When An Introvert Raises and Extrovert
I Had an Entire Weekend to Myself. Here’s What I Did.
To the Introverted Mom Who’s Lonely
Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
