We live in a parenting culture that’s all-or-nothing. Things are good or bad. Right or wrong. And though most of us claim to hold a “do what works best for your family” mindset, it doesn’t always feel that way. People judge, people have opinions, and those opinions manage to seep into our minds and give us this nagging guilt when we’re not doing things “right” 100% of the time.
But mom, perfection isn’t necessary. Instead, we just need to infuse our parenting with intention. And I’m not talking about the “intentional parenting” or “mindful parenting” movements that are also designed to be over-arching parenting philosophies. While neither explicitly expect perfection, both approaches are built on an uncompromising commitment to “be present” with your child in every moment.
And I think that’s great. But please, can we stop with the all-or-nothing?
Let’s take that intention to be present and make sure we do it at least once a day. Don’t feel guilty when your child sees you scrolling through your phone, and don’t feel like you have to be their playmate every time they want one. But find moments when you are undistracted and commit to being fully present with them, appreciating them for who they were meant to be and leaning in to the responsibility of being a parent.
Science agrees.
Secure attachment in infancy, arguably the most physically demanding season of parenting for mothers, is associated with better outcomes in childhood and adulthood. And a study evaluating babies’ attachment to their caregiver indicated that they only needed to get it right half of the time when responding to a baby’s emotional needs to foster a healthy attachment.
Bottom line: Good enough parenting is good enough.
Mom, don’t drive yourself crazy trying to “do it right.” Don’t become a martyr trying to follow a particular parenting philosophy at the expense of your own well-being. Instead, give yourself grace and find moments of intentional connection.
Forget perfection. Embrace intention. But not for every moment of every day. Because “good enough” parenting is good enough.
Related:
You Don’t Have to Be a Perfect Mom. It’s Okay to Be a “Good Enough” Mom.
