Thanks, Norman. Is a Norman Rockwell Holiday Even Possible?

I grew up in the Norman Rockwell era. Norman was a gifted artist. His paintings were not only beautiful, but they also told stories. They made you want to jump in and live there for a while.

He was also a bit of a troublemaker. See, his stories were often so picturesque that viewers would try to recreate them in real life. People could be heard saying, “I want a Norman Rockwell holiday!” And we know that rarely turns out well. Something always goes wrong and tarnishes the final product.

There is a famous painting by Norman that depicts a Thanksgiving meal. The family is gathered around a table that is brimming with food, and everyone is happily awaiting the feast. The sweet grandma is holding court at the head of the table smiling at her loved ones. At least that was my memory of it.

I think I tried to recreate that painting every year of my adult life. Without fail, sickness, a dry turkey, crabby family members, or a crabby ME, always ruined the “picture”. “Dumb Norman Rockwell,” I’d mutter under my breath. How dare he set such high standards?

I now have a love/hate relationship with Thanksgiving. I love my family and friends, and it makes me happy when we are all gathered together. But, when it’s my turn to cook the meal, crabbiness and anger prevail. I mean seriously, the countless side dishes and desserts, not to mention the turkey and gravy, are a bit much for one person to handle. I’m still trying to have that Norman Rockwell day.

The day usually ends with the kitchen being a huge mess and, well, me being a huge mess too. Rather than being thankful, I kind of dislike anyone still at my house and the world in general. And, under my breath I say, “I’m never doing this again.”

Getty | Manonallard

Over the years I have tried to delegate, I really have. One year I told everyone to bring a side dish. But, instead of the expected potatoes and veggies, I got dozens of COOKIES! So, the next year I assigned specific dishes for people to bring. Instead of arriving with their food prepared, my guests came (when my part of the meal was ready to eat) with bags of ingredients they hadn’t cooked yet that they’d picked up on the way! One year the guys decided they wanted to fry a turkey (hurray!). It was greasy, burnt on the outside and raw on the inside. Norman was absent those years for sure.

I did some research on the first Thanksgiving, and do you know what I found? I learned that the only women left alive after those early years of starvation and sickness were four women and two teen girls and they cooked the entire feast for everyone by themselves! Yikes! I am quite sure that they did not have matching dishes, a well thought out meal plan or fancy centerpieces. They were just thankful. Thankful to be alive, thankful for the food they did have, and mostly thankful to God.

So, this year I’m trying something new. I announced to everyone that I will cook the turkey and dressing and that is all. I have it on good authority that my son has decided to make Chex mix (because I’m sure THAT is a traditional Pilgrim food!) and my middle daughter announced that she is bringing cranberry sauce and then she quietly added: “From a can.”

So, our meal this year will be eclectic and rather bizarre. I will have to remind myself (numerous times) that none of the less-than-perfect things matter. I love Norman Rockwell paintings, but as for copying the Thanksgiving one, he can stuff it (pun intended).

Now, here’s the kicker! When I looked up that painting that I had spent so many years trying to copy, it wasn’t what I had remembered at all, not even close!

Norman Rockwell

That table isn’t laden with food. There’s a big turkey, some fresh fruit (not even cut up), some celery sticks with the leaves still on and that’s it! And, while grandma is smiling, she looks a bit tired to me now. Plus, that family around the table? Some of them look like trouble. And if you look really closely you can see what looks like cranberry jelly from a can!

Maybe I have achieved a Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving after all!

All those years of striving for perfection were wasted. I’m going to relax this year and let the day play out how it will. I’ll spend less time on the “shoulds” and more time thanking God for his many blessings. I’ll even thank Him for Chex Mix and cranberry sauce (from a can).