Have you ever said to yourself, “Well, it must be God’s will.”?
I have. Often. And, then I sit back and feel rather righteous. How very noble of me to want God’s will in my life. What a great woman of faith I am to suffer for the Lord.
Today, a new truth hit me in the face as I was sitting in a doctor’s office. For years I had put up with a medical condition that caused me misery every day. I was proud of how I kept going despite all the symptoms, dragging my wounded body around behind me. I told myself that it was God’s will that I was suffering and, like Paul, He had chosen not to heal me.
But, here’s the thing, I had come to that conclusion without much effort on my part. That truth smacked me in the face today as I was waiting for the doctor to arrive. I had convinced myself that I was wasting my time trying to fix my situation when that voice of wisdom (that I allow to reach my brain every once in a great while) spoke to me loud and clear. “Really, God’s will?” “How about your own inactivity or your fear of taking a step out of your comfort zone?”
I was instantly convicted of the truth of those statements and suddenly I wondered how many other times I had blamed God’s will when really my own shortcomings were at fault.
The doctor came in and did some tests and quickly came up with a solution. Sure, it consists of another surgery and probably some out–of–pocket money I don’t really have, but in thirty minutes she had given me a whole different view of “God’s will”.
I felt like a fool. I had spent all those years feeling miserable (yet noble) and it was completely unnecessary.
To further convict me, I could see how addicting blaming God could become. Who wouldn’t rather feel noble and martyred instead of being pushed out of their comfort zone into action? I, for one, always tend to choose inactivity over embarking on a path that looks scary and hard. And, I had to wonder what other opportunities I had missed out on by blaming “God’s will”.
There are still situations in my life where the answer to prayer seems to be a resounding “NO!” and the hard part is discerning what is God’s will and what is MY will. But, from now on, I will take some steps down those hard and scary paths before I chalk it up to His will.
Read more of Ann’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
