When I hear a story like the one of Kayla Mueller, I begin thinking of my own children and my own people.
Recently my 3 year old has developed a fear of the dark. We have been trying to coach him through the fact that he doesn’t have to be afraid, that there is nothing there. When Noah enters the room he declares “I am Noah, I am BRAVE” and then he turns on the light. Usually he runs to me excitedly and declares “MOMMY! I am BRAVE!” Other times he takes me by the hand and says he needs my help to turn on the light. I see the fear on his face, his voice shakes, he is so uncertain. Once I flip the switch his anxiety is immediately released and he always thanks me for keeping him safe. KEEPING HIM SAFE. If only he knew.
Is there a moment as our children get older that we don’t feel the need to be the one to keep them safe? Is there a day when we wake up and we think, “Okay, God, I think he’s old enough now, good luck with him?”
Kayla lived only 26 short years and made an extraordinary sacrifice. One that has changed lives, I’m sure of it. I’m trying to let my heart think for a moment about the fact that God may have big plans for my children. Really big plans. God may have plans that I cannot fathom, that take them far from me, that are dangerous. How do I feel about God if that’s true?
I want my children to be safe. I don’t want them to make choices that are difficult or that inconvenience us or separate us. I want to place limits on my children. I want to talk to God and say “My children can do the following things and if you have other plans please reconsider.”
This path Kayla chose had to feel daunting. The suffering so large. In her letter to her parents she wrote ‘I find God in the suffering eyes reflected in mine. If this is how you are revealed to me, this is how I will forever seek you. I will always seek God. Some people find God in church. Some people find God in nature. Some people find God in love; I find God in suffering. I’ve known for some time what my life’s work is, using my hands as tools to relieve suffering.’ (Source: Fox News)
How do I reconcile the fact that God calls us into dangerous territories with the fact that I can’t even breathe when I think of my children being in the way of harm? How do I give up my life and the life of my children to God without fully knowing where he will take us?
Kayla’s passion for helping those who were suffering captured her heart and drove her. Her entire being believed and followed the path God had for her. Because Kayla was brave in ordinary, everyday things people’s lives were changed. Extraordinary things happened because she was willing to follow the path God called her to and prepared her for.
Friends and family publicly shared stories about a young woman who was driven by a calling to help those who are suffering. One friend said about her that ‘What was so extraordinary about Kayla was that she did ordinary things to extraordinary measures’ (Source: Fox News)
What my heart feels about God is that he is good. My heart feels about God that he chose to use the life of an ordinary girl to spread an incredible message of faith and drive. A message that means to me that we get our children for a short time, a loan really. We get to grasp them tightly in our arms for but a moment and then we have to let them go. And when we do the result is unpredictable, but beautiful. And, in our deepest fear about the unknown, we can rest in the fact that this life, though terrifying and difficult is not the end.
