I had no idea how many birthday parties we would be invited to when my kids started school! My kids love going to birthday parties and celebrating their friends. I’ve learned a few tips along the way regarding birthday party etiquette that I thought I’d share. I felt so lost, uncomfortable, and awkward when asking certain questions when we were invited, but I’ve learned, communication is key.
The Party Location
This is not a one size fits all situation. If you are hosting the party, you can have it at a special birthday place or at your home. We’ve been to fun parties all around. Don’t fall into the trap of comparison. My kids always love having their parties at home for some reason so we do that. Also, you don’t have to throw a party. We have not done parties every year. In fact, I honestly try to talk them out of it each year. Ha! If you are looking for alternate ways to celebrate your kids, here ya go!
Siblings
Make sure you are clear on the invitation if siblings are invited. In some cases, it may make sense to allow them to come. In other cases, the activities you are planning won’t work. Make it clear. If you receive an invitation and you are wondering if a sibling can join in the fun, ask the question. I haven’t met a mom yet who was offended and they were always honest on if it was okay or not.
Drop Off vs. Stay
Make this clear on the invitation. Depending on the age and the activities it may be wise to have parents stay. In other cases, the kids will be older and it will be fine dropping off. If the invitation isn’t clear, ask the question. My kids use to always ask us to stay so we always volunteered to help at the party. The parents never seemed to mind. If for some reason you feel like you need to stay, be honest with the parent. There may be a situation or need you have and that’s okay. Just communicate ahead of time.
Pick Up Time
Make sure it’s clear on the invitation how long the party is so parents know when to pick up their kids. You will be exhausted. Also, parents, make sure you know, or ask, when pickup time is so you can be on time. If you are going to be late, make sure it is okay. Don’t assume there aren’t plans after the party.
Presents + Gratitude
Talk to your kids about presents ahead of time. I think the conversation about gratefulness, not to expect gifts, that we always say thank you, that we are always kind are really good reminders to give your child before they are all sugared up and manners are out the window. If they receive something they already have, it’s good to remind them to say thank you and be kind and not screaming about receiving something they already have. Kids need reminders. As the present shopper, stick to your budget. It’s good to stick to a budget and don’t get trapped in comparing what others have gotten. It’s all good.
Birthday Cards
We always have our kids make the cards themselves. They love it. Just fold some paper, have them color and put on their special twist. The kids love telling their friends about the designs they’ve created. I love watching their personality come out. Plus, you save money on the card.
To Open or Not to Open
I’ve gone back and forth on this very issue of opening presents or not at the actual party. On one hand, it is pure chaos. On the other hand, my son told me that watching his friends open their presents is one of his favorite things because he loves getting excited with them over the present he has chosen. He gives great care to choosing the gift so he loves watching and being part of that. He is always super disappointed when the presents aren’t opened. When I learned this it gave me pause and I decided we’d open presents with friends at our parties. I fully expect the chaos and just know that it will be part of the experience. I would say this is up to your individual family for sure, that is just the reason we have chosen to open presents during parties at our house.
The biggest takeaway I learned from birthday party attending and planning is communication. Have a question? Ask! Celebrating friends is super fun. If you want some super fun birthday party ideas, we have some great ideas right here on the blog.
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