We all have those things we feel we MUST do every day. For some, it might be making the bed. Others might feel bad if they don’t cook a meal or bathe the kids. I think if we’re honest, we have whole lists of things we think we must accomplish on a daily basis.
Well, this year I had to let go of my list and it felt so wrong at first.
I seemed to catch every cold and flu the kids brought home, and I not only caught the viruses, but I couldn’t seem to shake them. The fatigue that came along with each illness was … well, exhausting. There were days when lifting an arm or heading to the bathroom seemed to be an insurmountable task.
I finally had to give in and spend some time in bed.
My mom had a saying, “Mothers don’t get sick.” What she meant by that was that even if moms were ill, they kept going anyway. I watched her do this many times in my childhood. She would drag herself out of bed and with sadness (and anger) try to make meals and “mother” us. No one made her do this, but she had her list and, in her mind, it had to be done.
What we kids missed out on by her doing this was a lesson in empathy. We could have learned a lot if she had done less and rested more. If she had been willing to let go of her “Must Do” list, we would all have grown in ways we couldn’t when she was doing everything for us.
When I had to throw my own “must do” list out the window, days went by with no showers. I stayed in my nightgown and dinners consisted of canned soup. Dust balls rolled on the floors like tumbleweeds and the TV was on far too much.
And, guess what. Nothing horrible happened. Life went on even when mom was in bed.
Moms DO get sick. And, they have the option of staying in bed and recovering, if only they can ignore their “must-do’s” for a while.
I finally learned that lesson. Must-Do’s aren’t really must-do’s.
Now, if only I can carry that truth with me into my daily life!
Read more of Ann’s contributions to AllMomDoes here.
