When I was pregnant with my first, I was often worn down by the amount of opinions and stories that people felt the need to share. It was an exciting time in my life yet I was bombarded at times with horror stories of fluke things that happened to ‘a friend of a friend’ and opinions on things from epidurals to breastfeeding to preschool registration. It was exhausting enough just being pregnant.
How can we support each other through pregnancy without stealing each other’s joy? How can we share our own stories without taking away from their story? How can we love each other well through pregnancy?
What I really needed was positivity.
Pregnancy is not an uncommon phase of life, but for a first time mom, it’s new. Stories of what could go wrong do not help anyone. New life is growing, let’s not bring it down with talking negatively.
What I really needed was validation.
Validation that what I was feeling was normal. When I was more tired than I had ever been. When people would say ‘Oh yes, that baby is sucking everything from you right now’ or ‘Just wait until the baby comes, then you will really be tired’ didn’t make me feel good. They made me feel guilty for feeling tired and also scared of what was to come.
What I really needed was a compliment!
With my first pregnancy, it took awhile for me to look pregnant. People would make comments liket ‘Where is the baby?’ which made me worry something was wrong. Later in my pregnancy, I had enough fluids for more than one baby so I honestly looked like I was carrying twins. The comments changed to then reflect how big I looked. It made my day when someone would just tell me I looked cute or that they liked my outfit. I would often think they were probably lying but their effort was greatly appreciated!
By the time I was pregnant with my second, I didn’t let most of this get to me. But positivity, validation and compliments were still welcome! Let’s love each other well!
Are you pregnant right now or know someone who is? What makes them feel loved during this special stage?
