A group of my mom friends and I like to play a game. It’s called “find a time to hang out where none of us has a conflict.” It’s honestly comical when we each search through our calendars and reply to our group text thread indicating the one day here or one evening there where we think we could be free to meet for dinner or some shopping. Sometime we get lucky and everyone is able to join. Other times we just surrender and decide on a date and whoever can make it makes it.
It didn’t used to be this difficult.
This particular group of friends consists of five other amazing women. We each had our first baby within six months of each other and met at a new mom group at church. Talk about God bringing us together!
When our kids were in the baby and toddler stages, life was busy and exhausting. But it was an entirely different type of busy and exhausting then than it is now. In those early stages, my friends and I were able to find a Thursday night after work or a Sunday after church to get together. Though we were in the thick of it with little ones who needed constant care and attention, we still controlled the schedule. We would either bring our babies or sneak away while they napped leaving our husbands at home while we got a couple of hours of time together.
Photo Credit: iStock | Zoran Zeremski
The memories made toting our kids on these playdates are hands down some of my favorites. Even the times it would end with a total toddler meltdown, biting or paint being dumped into a fish tank (credit for that one goes to my own son); we always had so much fun just being with each other. It was a feat to make it happen but we always ensured it did.
Slowly but surely, it got a lot more difficult to find common time to get together.
Our kids are now pre-teens bordering on being full blown teenagers. Long gone are the days we could just tote them with us or escape after they went to bed in order to get a bit of time together. Not that it was easy then but it was certainly more do-able. Now, our schedules are at the mercy of sports practices, games, school project deadlines, and the kids making their own friends and having their own social calendars. Our role of course being chauffeur most of the time.
Despite it being a challenge to find time together, we have managed to maintain our friendships. The friendships have shifted and I am closer to some more than others; but still we have remained connected.
It’s hard to say how exactly we have made this happen. But if you are finding yourself in a similar season of life, let me share with you what I think has worked for us.
We don’t let time matter and when we do get together, we always say we just pick up right where we left off. We make the most of the time we do get together. We don’t add pressure and stress to each other. If one of us misses something, we all understand and support that we put our families first. We let technology help us to stay connected. Some of us are not on social media but we use group texting as a way to stay present in each other’s lives. Finally, my favorite part of having other mom friends, we always laugh until we cry or cry until we laugh; depending on the topic.
No matter the stage of motherhood you are in, it can be isolating at times. Think about how you can maintain valuable relationships in your life and how you can use them to lean on and to build you up and support you in all that you do. It doesn’t mean you have to physically see those people even on a regular basis.
We here at All Mom Does are here to support you too!
Related:
Read more of Stephanie’s contributions to allmomdoes here.
