I will be the first to admit that I tend to drive myself a bit crazy at Holiday times. My family will also be the first to say the same thing. My husband and kids used to yell, “Run, there’s another holiday coming, mom is going to be crabby!” And, I did get crabby, because I always bit off more than I could chew.
I grew up in a chaotic home, but on holidays my mom did her best. She would set the table with a nice tablecloth, cook a nice dinner, and often put a little card or gift next to each place. As a child I lived for those times and perhaps that is why I put such stock into Holidays. I wanted my kids to have those same warm, fuzzy memories.
I took over as “mom” for my birth family at a rather young age. All the holidays were held in my home, and I did my best to not only create magic for my kids, but for my siblings and their kids as well.
I’d start a month in advance and research recipes and make decorations. For Easter, I have made recreations of Jesus’ crucifixion site in terrarium form. I have made ice bowls inset with spring flowers. I’ve made dozens of cookies shaped like carrots and eggs, and baked buns that looked like little bunnies. In other words, I ran myself ragged trying to do it all.
Did the Mary and Martha story from the Bible run through my head as I crammed more and more things on my to-do list? Yes, it did, but somehow that desire to fill every holiday with an overabundance of “stuff” continued on.
And, then I crashed.
One year, my husband finished his first bout with cancer, and I was a mess. I could hardly get out of bed, much less put on one of my holiday extravaganzas. I “cancelled” Easter.
A funny thing happened though; other people stepped up to take over. There weren’t any terrariums or fancy baked goods. The food wasn’t all done at the same time and their house wasn’t decorated, but no one cared! Everyone had a wonderful time, and I hadn’t lifted a finger.
That was an important lesson for me to learn. All the weight I had been carrying around on my shoulders for all those years was just plain silly. I didn’t have to do it all. In fact, I didn’t have to do much of anything. Holidays would go on whether I went overboard or not.
Was I actually able to put that lesson into practice?
If I’m honest, I still struggle to find the balance between too much and just enough. I need constant reminders that it’s okay to just sit and let things happen.
This year I really wanted to make each grandchild a stuffed bunny. I had eye surgery instead and my sight is still compromised. Part of me is hugely disappointed because I couldn’t make those bunnies, and part of me is saying, “Ann, just stop it, quit trying to overdo it yet again.”
I’ll probably always be tempted to go a bit crazy on Holidays, but I am trying to learn. This year’s Easter will include a weird combination of creativity and shortcuts. I’ll search for party trays, but still decorate the house. There will be a filled Easter basket for each grandchild, but plastic eggs will replace hand-dyed natural eggs.
The non-negotiable parts of every Holiday will be the gathering of family and friends, and Easter will always include LOTS of thankfulness for my savior Jesus Christ.
What about you? Have you mastered the happy medium between driving yourself crazy and doing absolutely nothing? Like me, do you have boards on Pinterest with more holiday ideas than you could ever hope to accomplish? Or do you simply make reservations at a restaurant and call it good? In other words, are you a Mary or a Martha?
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42
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