We all want the very best for our children, but it’s impossible to do everything right all the time. Admitting that is freeing – and it’s also encouraging to other moms in the midst of intense seasons. That’s the idea behind our Monday Mom Confessions and we’d love for you to join us – share your own confession in the comments below! Let’s throw off the weight of perfection and get real around here!
It makes my heart ache to see the 5th grade transition. I miss the days of silliness and the eager little boy who wanted to help in the kitchen and sweep the floor. I miss the conversations where I didn’t feel the need to prove I know what I’m talking about!
I think the thing I miss the most is the innocence. The questions I’ve had to answer this year, they make a Mama blush I tell you, and truly the answers weren’t really all that welcomed anyway. I really don’t like 5th graders who try to educate their classmates!
The book Wild Things by Stephen James and David Thomas has been my go-to resource now for about seven years. When my boys were 4 and 2 ½ this book assured me the wildness was a phase. It helped me embrace the super hero phase and appreciate Legos even when stepping on them in the middle of the night. Now, these authors have assured me that this independence development is not only normal, but important.
“By the time a boy is nine or ten years old, he is developing a stronger sense of self, and his search for masculinity has intensified. He is starting to consider what it means to be a man. As the Individual passes from childhood into adolescence, the journey is about to get really rocky and more challenging.
In short, he is coming of age, and he is much more aware of the outside world and his own reaction to it. The Individual is trying to figure out how to fit in, and he has a new and clearer appreciation for the social pecking order and the chain of command as he comes to understand his place in the world.”
There is hope. For one thing, the progress of maturity is a necessary one. I’ve spent many days wondering if a maturing delay was present. Authors James and Thomas have helped me realize my 5th grader is on track. Another reason I still have hope is that my girlfriends with high schoolers tell me that if I ride out this storm the sweet boys will return. The tenderheartedness will now be masked as “coolness”, but the understanding of necessary respect towards elders will re-appear for me to view. They assure me I’ll see it soon enough because when I’m not around its still present. When I hear things like this, it makes me like 5th graders just a little more…although I could still do without the smells from forgetting deodorant…AGAIN!
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