No More “Karen” Videos

We’ve all seen them, the “Karen” videos. They show people screaming and throwing fits when they don’t get their way. Entitled people seem to be on the rise and I have to wonder why. What happened in their lives to make them feel they deserve to have the world on a platter? And, how do we keep our own kids from growing up to be “Karens”? (By the way, bless anyone whose name is Karen, I’m so sorry).

I came across an article recently that shared some tips so that your child won’t end up feeling entitled and/or victimized (the “poor me” attitude). Don’t get me wrong, all kids will act entitled at one point or another, but there are steps parents can take to minimize the chances that your child will grow up to star in their own Karen Videos.

Encourage “I” statements. Don’t allow your child to blame other people and circumstances for their failures. If they say, “It wasn’t my fault I failed, the teacher didn’t give us enough notice about the test,” encourage them to use “I” statements instead: “I’m mad that I flunked the test and I’m sad that I didn’t study enough.” This will teach your child to take responsibility for their own actions.
Don’t try and create an ideal world for your child. This can be a tough one as we all want our kids to be happy, but by smoothing over every hurt, we are not doing our child any favors. Furthermore, they will grow to expect it. So, if they don’t like dinner? Don’t make them another meal. Let them choose whether to eat or go hungry. And then …
Let cause and effect play out. Kids learn so much about life from the consequences of their actions. We can’t allow ourselves to get in the way of that learning. Can it be painful for both parent and child? Of course it can, but if they forget their lunch for the tenth time and mom won’t deliver it, hunger will help them remember next time.
Teach your child to stand up for themselves. It is so tempting to step in and try to fix your child’s conflicts, but we end up doing more damage than good. Recently, my grandson and his friend had a bad day. Instead of allowing the boys to patch it up, the other dad called my son-in-law to give advice on how to keep his son happy. That dad (while I’m sure had good intentions) took away an opportunity to teach his son to problem solve on his own. If we teach our kids to speak up in an assertive (not hostile) way, they will be well on the road to solving the bigger problems in their future.
Don’t shield your kids from negative emotions. Boy, this is another tough one. When our kids hurt, we hurt, but negative emotions are a part of life and the sooner our kids learn to deal with them, the better. So, instead of buying your child the toy they didn’t win at the fair, let them feel the sadness, talk about it and work through it.

If we put these steps into play, not only will our own kids benefit, but it will seriously benefit the whole world. We will be sending out kids who have learned that negative things will happen, but they will have the tools to deal with them and they will not feel that the world owes them happiness.

I had to laugh at the meme I saw the other day, it said:

Some of y’all come from the “if you quit crying, I’ll buy you something” generation.

We came from the “If you don’t quit crying, I will give you something to cry about” generation!

This is so true, and I heard those words more times than I can count. I don’t know when things changed, but if we bring back some cause-and-effect parenting, the world will be a much calmer place.